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Unsure, please help me decide.

1 reply

Unsure13 · 27/06/2021 20:09

Hi.

Made a new account for obvious reasons.

My situation is the following:
Been with DP 5 years. We are currently engaged which only happened after me pushing for it. (No proposal, I ordered the ring etc).
We have no kids.
We have a mortgage.
DP is a high earner, financially secure
I earn an ok salary, but hoping for a payrise in July which will help me massively.
I am 28 and DP is 30
We split bills proportionally to salary, but I pay half the mortgage.

Here is the issue, I don't think I am attracted to DP anymore, and feel like I am coming to terms with the fact over the past few weeks.

DP has a stressful job, and has put on 3 stone since we met. He doesn't really take care of his appearance. Doesn't take care of the house, and is generally a slob. Cleaning is always left to me even if it's his mess.

I recently lost a fair bit of weight, have really overhauled my look with some beauty treatments, and am generally wanting to go out and make the most of life now lockdown is kind of over.

This has come with a lot of male attention, and I think this has revamped my sex drive which is non existent with DP. DP struggles to pleasure me because of his size if I'm being brutally honest which has potentially contributed to past low drive.

I find myself thinking about other guys in ways I don't think about DP, I honestly can't believe how horny I am and feel like a different person.

DP initially noticed, and started trying to change his ways with cleanliness and trying to do more activities with me outside of work, but has fallen back into old habits.

DP is caring, and I feel secure with him, but I don't feel like I can get passed the feeling of feeling like his mum.

I don't know what I'm asking for, is this a phase? Will we get past it? Should we pack it in and start a fresh?

I realise the grass isn't always greener, but some comments I have seen on other threads make me feel like I should explore more whilst I am relatively young.

OP posts:
66babe · 27/06/2021 22:48

You have fallen out of love
It happens ... just remember that every single person could ... put weight on ... lose weight and become more desirable to another person ...
Keep focused on who he is , how does he treat you , what your goals and plans were
And if you have now outgrown each other then deal with it as adults and sell the house with fair distribution
Both of you can find happiness elsewhere

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