So i guess i should just cut to the chase. My wife (43yrs old) who was apparently happily married to me, prior to this uncontrollable infatuation with another woman (37yrs old) has told me she has unfortunately fallen in love, and she can't stop the feeling. and this other woman who's also married with 4 kids, feels the same about my wife. She's sorry for all harm and destruction its going to cause but its apparently like a freight train that neither can stop. i have two boys 14 and 16 who are still none the wiser on what's going on. Making matters worse is we're all still living in the same household together, and my wife doesn't even try and hide it.. Like right now, she's on the phone to her in her car somewhere. Been there for an hour. I know this sounds like she's a complete c word. and right now she is, but this was one of the kindest caring humans i and many others felt about her. A month ago we were holding hands watching a sunset telling each other how rock solid we are together, and now she's on the phone with her new lover. She has NEVER EVER cheated on me. Always been faithful. Actually i was the douche at the start of our relationship. I went out for a lunch with a girl from work, testing the waters 20 yrs ago, and she nearly had a breakdown over it. She smashed my phone, was uncontrollably crying for days, lost weight from not being able to eat and while we got over it took yrs before she fully trusted me again. i know she isn't full on lesbian, because she really did love me, and crave me. Perhaps the last yr, she did seem like she started transitioning. Spending much more time talking to her female friends, some of which i know as a friend, (not the lover though) meeting them for beach walks. And she actually started going out more often with the couple of female friends she has, but respectful. Never a woman who said she was going somewhere and went somewhere else.. Actually she told me before actually doing anything with this other woman, that both had fallen in love with each other, before they kissed. Everything in our relationship has been shared since we got married at least. There's never been any secrecy. i know it all sounds like complete madness, and it really is. She's in tears (perhaps a little crocodile tears at times feeling sorry for herself, and feeling she's let her family down) she isn't saying, i'm going to end it with this woman and fix things with me, she is genuinely trying to figure out how to make it all work.. Her and this other married woman with her kids. all somehow living together ??? We're financially solid together. Paid off all our debts, don't owe a penny to anyone. Have a beautiful home in paradise. (SW Florida) We both moved here together in 2004. then had our two children. We're both british so have a lot in common. I'm trying to make sense of all of this. How powerful must a woman on woman attraction be for her to want to throw absolutely everything away on this ??? She's always been a bit tomboy ish. Like never wore makeup well or never felt comfortable in a dress. But she's very attractive. Pretty and cute, petite and one of those bodies that never puts an inch of fat on. A little bit like Ellen Page was before she / he all went transgender. If i was to describe a woman that reminded me of her while not exactly, but it would be her. Kinda cute and dinky and magnetic. I know she's had lots of attention in the past by other men, all of which she brushed off with ease. What i loved about her apart from being an amazing mother prior to all of this, is she's never looked for attention. Her hair is just tied back, no makeup or very little when going to work where this other married woman works, but for whatever reason, its like this lesbian attraction has an unbelievable hold on her.
I don't know for sure, because the final kill for me is when she tells the our kids, She called her parents this morning in England today to tell them everything, both of which said STOP and think about what you're doing. I even spoke to her dad, who obviously loves his daughter but knows only she can make the right decision.
I'm going to see a therapist on Tues to figure out what i need to do. i know what they're going to say. Break away make a fresh start, you don't need to be tortured like this.. BUT i am trying to save the marriage. You don't just give up on your family so easily.. We seem to just be bickering now more than being best friends. But even during some of the last week, we both used each others shoulders to cry on. I told her this needs to stop, either its me and our family or this other woman. But she's definitely leaning towards this other woman, even though its a train wreck waiting to happen. Any advice from a woman who perhaps is that way inclined, who may understand what she must be going through would be appreciated.