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Original poster

How to get his attention

51 replies

Shillelaghsally · 26/06/2021 15:04

What are the things you’d do to try and (re)attract the attention of a man you have previously slept with who ghosted you as a result of being fresh of a long term relationship? Please no ‘don’t bother’ responses, I understand that point but I have decided to pursue him anyway. I want constructive tips if anyone has them (for example, post a very hot selfie). It’ll have to be something via social media as we are not in contact in any other way anymore.

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 27/06/2021 08:06

Definitely no hot selfies.
You need to be unobtainable.

YukoandHiro · 27/06/2021 08:09

To you it's called pursuing; to him it's harassment. What would you be calling a man doing the same to you? Drop it unless you want to be a complete creep

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 27/06/2021 08:12

@Zerrin13

My suggestions would be to message him and breezily ask him how he is and how his day is going. Do this daily so he knows you care. Do you know his favourite dishes? If you can't cook then learn. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Men are very receptive to nice images. Buy some expensive underwear and send him a daily picture to remind him of how you look. Do you know much about his hobbies and interests? If so, read up on them and send a few casual messages relating to his hobby and how its a big interest of yours too. Try and create some common ground. Most men appreciate satisfying, enriching sex. Message him that you feel frisky and wish he was here to help relieve your frustrations. Many men have fragile ego's and they need to be treated gently and with kindness. Flatter him in your messages. Reassure him of his attractiveness to you and other woman and how you would be honoured to be his woman. Good luck OP. Let us know how it all goes.
Behaving like this to a man who is not responsive or interested sound like Bunny Boiler territory to me.

I would block someone who did this. Madness.

Zerrin13 · 27/06/2021 08:20

YellowandGreenToBeSeen

Just a lighthearted post on a rainy Sunday morning! It wasn't meant to be serious!!

Shelddd · 27/06/2021 08:21

Men are visual.. you are right that pictures will help a lot. So would stroking his ego. If you ask him to come over, just compliment last time and say it was amazing you haven't had it so good etc... Yes this is all degrading blah blah blah but it will work. Stroke his ego and tease him with some photos. Most effective.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 27/06/2021 08:25

@Zerrin13 ah! It sounded serious! Fair enough.

StillCalmX · 27/06/2021 08:31

There is a way. You have to demonstrate subtly that you got turned off by his not seeing your value. Don't announce that you've relegated him. Just let your actions be congruent with having been a bit turned off by his sleeping with you once and moving on.

Don't post all your exciting activities on facebook. But stay on course, filling up your other tanks. Contact a friend from the past that you miss. Cook something you used to be renowned for. Re-read a book that made you feel good about yourself. Make time for roller skating or dress making or whatever activity puts you in to flow.

StillCalmX · 27/06/2021 08:36

@Zerrin13

My suggestions would be to message him and breezily ask him how he is and how his day is going. Do this daily so he knows you care. Do you know his favourite dishes? If you can't cook then learn. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Men are very receptive to nice images. Buy some expensive underwear and send him a daily picture to remind him of how you look. Do you know much about his hobbies and interests? If so, read up on them and send a few casual messages relating to his hobby and how its a big interest of yours too. Try and create some common ground. Most men appreciate satisfying, enriching sex. Message him that you feel frisky and wish he was here to help relieve your frustrations. Many men have fragile ego's and they need to be treated gently and with kindness. Flatter him in your messages. Reassure him of his attractiveness to you and other woman and how you would be honoured to be his woman. Good luck OP. Let us know how it all goes.
This is exactly what the OP shouldn't do.

He was attracted enough to her to sleep with her.

He's either not attached enough or doesn't value her enough or doesn't respect her enough to consider a relationship with her.

Doing what you've suggested would kill any chance of a relationship.

If the subject of sex comes up, I certainly wouldn't be pursuing more sex, I'd go so far as to hold up your head and say that the sex was not in the context that you thought it was and you felt let down by him. Then change the subject to the weather and walk away.

Your vibe here OP has to be that he his behavior was a bit shabby, he turned out to be a bit of a cad, but luckily you're resilient enough, content enough, wise enough to deal with this without losing a beat in your stride.

The only clue is that you GOT TURNED OFF.

Zerrin13 · 27/06/2021 08:38

My post wasn't serious!! If it was I wouldn't be on Mumsnet would I?

championthewonderhorse70 · 27/06/2021 08:42

@Zerrin13

My suggestions would be to message him and breezily ask him how he is and how his day is going. Do this daily so he knows you care. Do you know his favourite dishes? If you can't cook then learn. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Men are very receptive to nice images. Buy some expensive underwear and send him a daily picture to remind him of how you look. Do you know much about his hobbies and interests? If so, read up on them and send a few casual messages relating to his hobby and how its a big interest of yours too. Try and create some common ground. Most men appreciate satisfying, enriching sex. Message him that you feel frisky and wish he was here to help relieve your frustrations. Many men have fragile ego's and they need to be treated gently and with kindness. Flatter him in your messages. Reassure him of his attractiveness to you and other woman and how you would be honoured to be his woman. Good luck OP. Let us know how it all goes.
😂😂😂
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 27/06/2021 08:42

@Zerrin13

My suggestions would be to message him and breezily ask him how he is and how his day is going. Do this daily so he knows you care. Do you know his favourite dishes? If you can't cook then learn. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Men are very receptive to nice images. Buy some expensive underwear and send him a daily picture to remind him of how you look. Do you know much about his hobbies and interests? If so, read up on them and send a few casual messages relating to his hobby and how its a big interest of yours too. Try and create some common ground. Most men appreciate satisfying, enriching sex. Message him that you feel frisky and wish he was here to help relieve your frustrations. Many men have fragile ego's and they need to be treated gently and with kindness. Flatter him in your messages. Reassure him of his attractiveness to you and other woman and how you would be honoured to be his woman. Good luck OP. Let us know how it all goes.
This is fucking nuts behaviour Don't do this The most you should do is send him a message. One. And no selfies.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 27/06/2021 08:42

@Zerrin13

My post wasn't serious!! If it was I wouldn't be on Mumsnet would I?
Oh thank Christ You need to dial up the sarcasm a bit as that was not obvious!
championthewonderhorse70 · 27/06/2021 08:43

Beep it really was. Cracked me up anyway

StillCalmX · 27/06/2021 08:57

Sorry @Zerrin13 I see the obvious humour now Blush

I don't know if the op is coming back but even the post a hot selfie poste makes me cringe! I think I skim read your post and thought it was more of the same!

HoneyzAiy · 27/06/2021 09:02

There’s nothing a good man likes more than semi naked selfies from a woman who he has slept with once, then ghosted.

I suggest you go get some lovely, sexy, underwear, and take some selfies to send to him, in various poses. You can practice first in front of a mirror, really get those poses down.

After he receives them, he’ll show them off to all his mates down the pubs. When he sees their reaction, and how jealous they all are, he will realise straight away what he’s missing out on and be begging you to take him back.

SarahBellam · 27/06/2021 09:05

Hire an aeroplane and fly by his house with a banner out the back saying, “Hiya Jeremy, fancy a shag?”

chocolateorangeinhaler · 27/06/2021 09:07

So someone isn't interested in you, you know this but have chosen to ignore and Harass him anyway. What happens when he does acknowledge you and again says NO. Do you progress to following/stalking him?

If this were a man harassing a woman that said no there would be uproar on here and quite rightly too. Why isn't there the same anger when it's the other way round?

You need to stop with the temper tantrum now OP before your behavior ends up with you in court.

elQuintoConyo · 27/06/2021 09:15

When he's at the photocopier, go up and ask him "do you want to come round mine tonight for pizza and a fuck?"

That should do.

Nonmaquillee · 27/06/2021 09:17

@Zerrin13

My suggestions would be to message him and breezily ask him how he is and how his day is going. Do this daily so he knows you care. Do you know his favourite dishes? If you can't cook then learn. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Men are very receptive to nice images. Buy some expensive underwear and send him a daily picture to remind him of how you look. Do you know much about his hobbies and interests? If so, read up on them and send a few casual messages relating to his hobby and how its a big interest of yours too. Try and create some common ground. Most men appreciate satisfying, enriching sex. Message him that you feel frisky and wish he was here to help relieve your frustrations. Many men have fragile ego's and they need to be treated gently and with kindness. Flatter him in your messages. Reassure him of his attractiveness to you and other woman and how you would be honoured to be his woman. Good luck OP. Let us know how it all goes.
😂😂😂
Kisskiss · 27/06/2021 09:19

@Zerrin13

YellowandGreenToBeSeen

Just a lighthearted post on a rainy Sunday morning! It wasn't meant to be serious!!

🤣🤣🤣😬
66babe · 27/06/2021 09:27

I'd meet up with my best female friends and ask them to each bash me over the head with a frying pan
Then we'd get chocolate, ice cream and wine .. go back home and watch a good film slagging off men until I came back to my senses

baubled · 27/06/2021 09:31

Pursuing him when you know he doesn't want it is bordering on harassment and it's embarrassing

Nonmaquillee · 27/06/2021 09:55

Honestly, save your self respect. There are millions and millions of men in the world to have a quick shag with.

FunMcCool · 28/06/2021 09:13

I agree with the direct approach. Just text him and see if he wants to go out.

1940s · 28/06/2021 09:54

Don't post hot selfies

Don't post cryptic quotes

Don't post cryptic pictures that allude to you being with another man 'two glasses of wine and two steaks at a restaurant but no faces'

Don't message him drunk or like any posts of his past 5pm as he will assume you're drunk

If you want to see him again and want to gauge his interest then message mid week / early afternoon maybe on a Thursday asking him if he's free at the weekend and wants to meet up?

If he doesn't respond he's really really not interested. He may become interested later down the line if no other options are available to him

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