My exh had an affair . By the end of our marriage , I was resentful and angry with him as he literally
Left all the household/ domestic and child rearing to me. Never involved unless it was a social Activity that didn't really involve parenting .
By the end I was repulsed by him sexually. I
Couldn't bear him Near me and he had a high libido . It was constant requests for sex . I had every excuse to avoid it . He knew I wasn't attracted to
Him. He said he could tell . He was gropy and inappropriate especially in front of children . I flinch and jump to the present day when my now boyfriend touches me unexpectedly .
We discussed his laziness and lack of interest. He never improved as a husband or father . He communicated by shouting at me and kids . An angry man who demanded respect but failed to earn it or reciprocate it .
So now I feel Guilt that I remained in a marriage with a man whom I was repulsed by and was very I attracted to.
He had his affair and left .
He adored me once . He really did . Much more so maybe than I adored him . It is a cautionary tale for future relationships for me I guess.
I am now in a relationship of a year and I am so attracted to my boyfriend . So much more in the way that I desired my husband.
I feel guilt . Why is this? Thanks