How on earth do adults make friends!

[Rua90]

Sooo Ive been putting off doing this for ages out of fear of judgement basically! I am 30yo living in the North West with my amazing partner of 6 years. I lived in Scotland when we first met and only moved here about 3 years ago.( Im Irish so seeing friends and family over the past 18 months has been entirely online) I work for the NHS and love it but am having difficulty making friends which has never been an issue before! I keep in touch with my friends from home and Scotland but have no one close here. I work in a small team with 3 other and my colleagues are lovely but all older and from here so have known everyone in the area all their lives. I am not the most outgoing so I find approaching new people very awkward, has anyone got any advice? Iv always made friends easily through school/uni/work but for some reason as I`ve gotten older its so much harder xx

I'm also in Cumbria @Rua90. It's quite hard here, as population is much more sparse, so all the suggestions of apps are great but they do work better on volume!
I second the hobby thing and I've joined an online book group which has been great over lockdown. Everyone else I am friendly with is a colleague.

Thanks again everyone 🥰 I actually work with new mums and am in the process of setting up a group for new parents so I’m pretty clued up on what’s about but it’s these next 7 months I’m concerned about ha! @canigooutyet I met my partner on tinder so I’m not sure how I’d feel having it reinstated on my phone 😅 as this is my first pregnancy and I’m anxious we’ve not told anyone yet so meeting my friends further away is tricky as I used to enjoy a drink and not ringing would be a clear giveaway 😅 xx

Where in Cumbria are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve found that too, I did try hey vina a while ago but the other users were about 45 mins away so not ideal.

Join a choir?

Meetup.com

I joined the WI, depends on the group, but the one I’m a member of is a real mix of ages from 25-60 but mostly 30ish and I’ve met lots of new friends

I trust the universe to provide me with what I need. Sounds cheesy woo woo but I moved to a new part of the county where I knew absolutely no one 3 years ago, I'm single parent so don't get out much plus I work from home so no work socialising. I've made loads of friends in this new town even though pandemic has slowed things down lots.

I just chat to people I meet. If I like respond I chat some more - flows from there.

Good luck you can do it!

When you have small children, I think it's pretty easy to get an inbuilt set of 'friends'. They are not life long unless you are lucky, but I had a good social life when DC were very small through local coffee mornings and palygroups. Then we moved and I met a new group of mums through volunteering at playgroup. They were very sociable and had lots of evenings out and weekends away. In the end I drifted apart from them as we had nothing in common except small children but at the time they were a life saver.

Lasting friendships have all come through shared interests in sports and arts hobbies.

@Rua90 I'm in S Lakes if you were responding to my post

I'm S.lakes too

@reader12

Join a choir?

Currently no choirs are running except virtually, at least in my area.

OP I made loads of friends when I had babies and young children, so I think you'll be fine.

It's very difficult now - I'm divorced and have moved areas, my children are adults. All meet up groups start half an hour before my commuter train from central London gets in. WI is during the day here, and no choirs or face-to-face singing lessons (my hobby).

I have the same problem. I also have a problem when I do meet someone I think is nice that I worry that they don’t actually want to be friends so I don’t push meeting up as I don’t want them to feel pressured. I find it a real struggle.