Tell all or back off

[Doyouknowtheway]

If you had or have ever had deeper feelings for your friend (that won't disappear even when you know nothing would come of it) would you

1. back off from the relationship completely to save revealing your feelings plus embarrassing them and yourself or
2. carry on seeing less of person, while slightly resenting they're none the wiser and enjoying the drabs of friendship still there?

When I was too invested I decided to step back, which was difficult and has made me miserable and I'm sure she just thinks I'm a shit friend, I suppose I am for allowing myself to feel like this. It's not the first time I've fell for a friend infact, anytime I've gotten into a relationship it has developed from friendship.
I split with my partner two years ago and things haven't been easy I think this friend filled a gap in my life and maybe I'm confused. This friend I spent the most of my free time with before lockdown and she'd message me morning, noon and night for a long time but since I backed away a few months ago it's dried up and has left me twiddling my thumbs a bit and wondering if she knows or it just because she's not gotten the reciprocation from me.
Anyway, I am embarrassed so not spoken to anyone about it yet. I thought having a break would be the turn off I needed, so i left it a few weeks of not seeing her but after recently spending time with her it is still there, I kept thinking about kissing her and found it hard talking to her and looking at her. Sitting near her I felt like I was being weird or crossing a line because she doesn't know how I feel. I'm nervous around her but relaxed at the same time its not a bad feeling it's just not right to be having thoughts and feelings for someone on another level when they're unaware and think it's a nice friendship or whatever.
Anyone felt like this about a mate as an adult then got over it or met someone else and got over it?
I know I've rambled on here, just needed to vent, I think I do need to talk to someone about it but once I've said it outloud to someone in real life I've got to take action and I'm not sure yet if to just be a coward and disappear off social media and fade this woman.

I'm not clear from your post. Are you gay? Is she gay? I am asking because this may alter her viewpoint?

At this point your friendship has cooled.
Be honest. See where it gets you.
Nothing left to lose.

Very much depends if she’s gay? I’m taking you are? My friend crossed the line with me (I’m not gay) and told me she had feelings that went beyond our friendship. It destroyed everything and I never felt the same being in her company as I could never relax or be the same way I was with her before. If that’s the case here, I’d say back off

Yes I'm gay, she isn't.
I think I need to work on boundaries and distance myself in future friendships so I don't wind up here again. I'm an adult, a parent and this is so immature it's embarrassing. It has sort of happened before but without deeper feelings just a little crush. This has gone on too long so @Ginmonkey84 thankyou that's what I needed to hear. I will back off because I hate the though of that happening. I already cringe about how I feel most of the time nevermind making someone else feel as awkward or worse even.

Yes, I'd say there is a risk that GinMonkey's situation could be how this would play out. If the friendship is valuable to you, and it sounds like it really is, then maybe you could join a lesbian group where everyone is clear about sexuality? Or a gay dating site?