unplanned pregnancy with absent boyfriend

[lostandnotfoundbuggy]

Hi everyone sorry if this is gonna be long I'm just so lost and need some advice or even some words of encouragement/ insight from my mumsnet family

I've (20F) been with this guy (22M) for 2 years now in a serious relationship. We had our issues but there's always been so much love between us too. He's always supported me in my hardest times and I've supported him too. he loved to party and take some drugs this was something recreational at the time that then progressed to him having to get a hit every few nights in a week and having to go to raves and whatever.

In the midst of this I've just found out I'm pregnant and Ive told him and he says he's with me and going to support me no matter what decision I make to either keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy.

But going through this experience I'm just so confused if I should just cut him out of my life too now after seeing some things.

He is just so unresponsive to my texts and calls and says he is sleeping all day and I'm hurt by it but feel maybe I'm wrong?
I have so much love for him and I know it's mutual but I feel so much guilt for leaving him now and that I feel like I have to help him to overcome the drugs.

At the same time he doesn't want my help and wants me to accept him as is. I'm just so lost in my emotions and overwhelmed and I can't help but think maybe I would want to keep the baby if he were more reliable not that I'm blaming him or anything I just know a lot of super strong women are capable of doing it but I know I couldn't do it on my own. It's not easy.

Maybe this was more of a vent then anything. But thank you to all that read it regardless I'm just broken and lost because I love him but so much has changed too I don't know anymore and now a kid And sorry for going on and off track. Thank you

Depending on the situation and amount of money, consider whether it is worth letting that go to be free of him sooner. If he senses you want to go when the money is back, it might be a long time coming...

@lostandnotfoundbuggy

Thank you so much to everyone that has taken the time to reply, I appreciate it beyond words. I am so thankful for the people that made sure I don't feel guilt to terminate and eased me into that. I know I can't possibly give the child the life I would want to right now being so unstable it would be highly unfair to him or her. He is extremely unavailable and I can't have a baby with someone like that it's clear. I don't have any family and if they knew I don't think they would be supportive at all.

I think the best thing would be to deal with the matter at hand, get my money back and leave the relationship as much as that would hurt it seems like that is the sensibility thing to do. Much love to everyone thank you all so much

OP So glad to read your update and such a sensible plan.

You will look back on him and this time and see him very clearly for who he really is.

Unfortunately when very young women get pregnant it is they, and they alone whose lives are changed forever.

It is hard to look 5/10/15 down the line when you are so young, but a decision like early motherhood utterly changes the life of a young woman forever.

Opportunities to change their lives positively with education/travel etc. shrink immeasurably.

Of course their are exceptions but they are exceptions.

You have a whole wonderful life ahead of you if you put your mind to it.

Education, work, travel, a lovely home, all of these things are a possibility for you if you put your head down and work hard.

Absolutely NO MAN is worth sacrificing your life for.

NO MAN is worth waiting for, to get his shit together.

Let this experience focus YOU on your precious future and what you want from it.

You are SO worth it.