Not going places

[GardenLady2]

Need help as might be overthinking this. Covid lockdowns have masked this problem somewhat so I'm referring to prior to 2019. I started to notice that although we'd go on holidays abroad and trips to other counties in the UK, we would never go out local. I started to wonder if he didn't want to be seen with me. That's how it felt. But it's not like I'd suddenly changed my appearance (bit of weight gain over the years).
This issue has raised its head again for me now that people are starting to go out again.
I checked back and the last time we went to a local pub was 2014. I mentioned recently about going back there again and he immediately asked where it was, but I find it hard to believe he didn't know because we went there a few times and it has a distinctive pub name.
It is literally like he doesn't want to be seen with me locally.
Should I just ask him directly if he doesn't want to be seen with me?

Are you talking about your partner? Do you have an open and honest relationship with him?, if so, I'd ask him because that's what being open and honest is.

If you don't have an open and honest relationship with him and don't feel you can ask him a direct question then you've got bigger problems i'm afraid

Are you married? Does everyone know you as a couple?

So we've been married 30 years. Bit difficult to answer 'does everyone know you as a couple' because there are people he knows (through work and hobby) that I don't know. So they wouldn't know us as a couple, no. But obviously people that we've known for years know us as a longstanding couple.

You've been married 30 years and can't have this conversation with your husband......??

Also, are you saying that in 30 years you have never been out locally?! Does he go out local without you, and does he refuse if you ask to somewhere?

A bit weird... does he just not like going out? Or is he often out without you? Do you trust him generally?

Maybe he just doesn’t enjoy going out with you locally? I mean that nicely. Do you still have lots to talk about etc?

Is there any chance he could be having an affair? sorry to be the first one to say it?

Mmmm.... I'd be inclined to think that perhaps some people think he is single.....

@ihtwsf

Mmmm.... I'd be inclined to think that perhaps some people think he is single.....

Me too. Perhaps widowed, if he wears a wedding ring?

I'd also think hes told people you are no longer together and doesn't want to ruin the narrative

I'd confront him. I too think many people may think he's single....

A lady I know (from a hobby) has a long term boyfriend who does the same hobby.
He has a wife who doesn't do the hobby.

Does he go out locally with friends?

If not, maybe he just doesn't enjoy going out locally. Full stop.

Just because he likes going on foreign holidays and weekends away doesn't mean he enjoys going to a local pub for a pint 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Livandme

A lady I know (from a hobby) has a long term boyfriend who does the same hobby. He has a wife who doesn't do the hobby.

He started his hobby around the same time I retrained for a new career. That was just a coincidence that they happened at the same time but it did mean that part of his life and part of my life sectioned off from our life together. Which is why he knows people that I don't know and who don't know me. I just have a really odd feeling about this now. He displays symptoms similar to a person with agoraphobia, yet he's not agoraphobic because he will happily go on holiday. It really feels like he wants to keep me out of town. If ever I say I'm going in to town, he'll offer to get my shopping for me.