Help me straighten my head

[ChickenTimeBomb]

My marriage has had problems for a number of years and I've kept trying to fix them but I came to a realisation about a month ago that it is actually emotionally abusive and my anxiety went from 4/10 to 9/10.

I think this is more because I've realised I need to work out how to leave and I'm scared. How do I do this safely? I have a FT job and 2 small kids so childcare hoovers up most of my wages. I spoke to a solicitor and due to specific circumstances I am unlikely to get a lump sum and he'd probably have to give me a monthly payment. I'm worried he wouldn't and not sure how I could afford to live other than burning through the savings I have and then not being able to buy a house further down the line. He'll end up with the house because it was in his name before our marriage.

Do I organise somewhere to rent and tell him as I'm moving out or do I tell him now? My head is such a mess, help me make a plan!

Hopeful bump

Sorry to hear what you're going through and just wanted to give you some encouragement. You've taken the first difficult step in coming to these realisations. In terms of money, have you considered/looked into any benefits you could be entitled to (JSA, universal credit, council tax deductions)? Domestic abuse isn't just physical - it can be emotional/financial too. Could you look into what help there is locally? Charities, council, etc. Women's aid is one that I see suggested on here a lot. I'd also give Citizens Advice Bureau a ring. You can find their numbers online. Stay strong, you can do this. Breath and take one step at a time.

Hi, I'm not sure what legal advice you got but he won't get the house. In a divorce the priority will always be housing the children, so assuming the children will reside with you you are in a strong position to get at least half of the house proceeds.