I feel he is a user

[Zig27]

A guy who I knew ghosted me to ‘concentrate on his studies’ but has resurfaced. We are part of the same walking group and he said he saw the walk and my name was down and said ‘I do hope you were going to invite me’ and that he was on the waiting list. I found that arrogant as though I would be waiting or thinking of inviting him. I replied saying event organisers don’t send personal invites and that people may drop out. I asked how he was and he said he has not caught covid this year. I just thought this is why I’m glad he cut contact months ago as he is a very negative person and he has only got in touch so I can add him to the walk. I feel he is a user as it’s not that he even wanted friendship or to see how I have been. I just can’t believe the audacity he has.

But still a little too much headspace given. Your assessment seems fair. Let's hope he doesn't get on the walk, as you might get a bit tangled up in his affairs again unintentionally out out politeness to him if nothing else. Tbh, I would not be asking him how he is, probably best not to speak at all to him.

He's an arrogant shit, isn't he ?

He ghosts you, then has the audacity to contact you just because you might've been able to help him out ??

If he does manage to make it onto the walk, I'd be totally ignoring him tbh, because that's exactly what he did to you by ghosting you, and he did it without a care in the world, didn't he ?

In my book, that kind of treatment doesn't even warrant basic 'politeness' from me !

@velvetpeach

You again?!

Why are you still giving walking guy/teacher guy/ghosting guy (it's not clear how many actual men are involved here) any headspace?!

You haven't dated them, seem unlikely to date them and it is not helping your mental health to keep posting about them (and numerous other friend/work/teaching/Covid issues) online whilst ignoring any advice you are given.

Please think about talking to someone in real life about YOUR mental health.

I don’t want anything to do with him and am asking how to cut ties. I’m sick of his negativity. It’s people like you affecting mental health.

I don’t want anything to do with him and am asking how to cut ties. I’m sick of his negativity. It’s people like you affecting mental health

You are the one most responsible for your mental health. You know what a twat this man is, so why haven't you blocked him? He shouldn't have been able to slither back into your life.

Just block him then, if you actually want to cut ties, block and delete.

You seem to enjoy the drama of posting thread after thread asking for help, which people give in spades and which you then ignore, often getting aggressive and belligerent with posters in the process.

Just read back some of your responses to people within the past week or so, you are actually quite rude at points, then pop up a few hours/days later with another issue which isn't an issue. It's quite uncomfortable to read.

@velvetpeach

Just block him then, if you actually want to cut ties, block and delete.

You seem to enjoy the drama of posting thread after thread asking for help, which people give in spades and which you then ignore, often getting aggressive and belligerent with posters in the process.

Just read back some of your responses to people within the past week or so, you are actually quite rude at points, then pop up a few hours/days later with another issue which isn't an issue. It's quite uncomfortable to read.

The issue is I don’t like offending people but by pandering to their games I’m the one who ends up being unhappy. If someone is being aggressive in a thread I’m not going to sit there and take it. The majority of been people have been supportive.

Come on, you're being disingenuous now. Numerous people have posted multiple times on your many, many threads offering genuine help and advice, and the benefit of their own personal experience (myself included, previously) and you just get defensive and deliberately obtuse and then eventually lash out, as you seem to be doing again here.

The common denominator in all of your men/female friends/teaching//walking/ghosting/WhatsApp/Reddit vendettas is YOU.

No one can help you solve these "issues" if you're not willing to look at why you are so keen to create the drama in the first place.

This guy, case in point. You posted obsessively about him at the time of the ghosting, everyone told you (very kindly) to just block and delete so you wouldn't have to deal with him should he "resurface". You didn't, and here you are, and people are (again, very kindly) saying to block and delete.

Why wouldn't you just take this very simple step to remove this negative person from your life and headspace?!! It's frankly bizarre that you wouldn't just do that rather than post again here!

@velvetpeach I completely agree with you as it makes sense now. The only way drama can occur is if I’m participating in the situation. If I remove myself from these ridiculous situations there will be less stress as it affects my mental health. The perpetrators will then find someone else so is willing or unwilling to participate in their games.

I have had time to reflect the past few months and by not having contact with this guy I feel a lot happier. He gets me really down and moans about his life and covid. I know everyone has difficulties but I have enough to deal with and don’t want to hear about him moaning about a course he chose to do and he is very negative about covid. I try not to talk about covid as it’s on the news but he seems to be obsessed with mentioning covid in every interaction. I’m not a qualified counsellor so he shouldn’t be dumping his mental baggage and moaning on me in every interaction.

I can see now why he doesn’t really have any friends, he has told me this and his negativity gets people down.

I have lots of friends and should maybe spend more time with them.

So you're going to finally block him now, right?

So, you’ve blocked him now?

Block and delete him op. People like him drain others dry and they will never go away as long as you respond to anything they throw out at you.
He will do it over and over again if you respond even negatively. People like him don't think normally and treat others as stepping stones on getting what they want.

@xsquared

Block and delete him op. People like him drain others dry and they will never go away as long as you respond to anything they throw out at you. He will do it over and over again if you respond even negatively. People like him don't think normally and treat others as stepping stones on getting what they want.

I haven’t interacted someone so negative like him in the last 15 years. I don’t even know what I saw in him. Even people on our course last year started to distance themselves from him. He is an absolute drain. I’ll block him and avoid walks he goes to or change walking groups. It’s draining having to keep dealing with his mess and not getting anywhere.

Have you blocked him then OP? Wouldn't it feel good to do that and come back on here having made a positive step like that?

So not actually blocked yet then?!

He messaged at teatime being negative again telling me all about the side effects from the jab. I have blocked him now. I really haven't missed the moaning over the months. By cutting ties will help me focus on my own life and meet someone decent and not focus on someone who just wants to pass the time. It's probably why he is still single at 45 as other women won't put up with it. I feel relived now.

I have blocked him now

🎉🎉🎉🎉

@Elisandra

I have blocked him now

🎉🎉🎉🎉

I feel a lot better for it. My mental health was messed up for a while when I used to speak to him and I never want to go down that road again, especially because of a dysfunctional man.

Phew! Good for you OP. This has gone on for so, so long. Hopefully you can put some coping mechanisms in place to avoid unblocking him. Onwards and upwards!

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Phew! Good for you OP. This has gone on for so, so long. Hopefully you can put some coping mechanisms in place to avoid unblocking him. Onwards and upwards!

Thank you. I know it’s took me a while and I’m sure others have been there but it’s time to stop being a doormat.