Normal in long term relationships..

[CoffeeCupz]

Been together 9 years this October no kids or marriage just have this past year been kind of thinkng 'is this it' this will be the best it will get kind of/ grass could be greener. I did last year meet a man at work and we both liked each other messaged about but nothing ever came of it ( nearly did but stopped it going further) I just kind of feel like what if I'm wasting my life on this person I love but can't keep thinking what if it's better with someone else? Has anyone had these feelings? I don't want to leave partner but just keep having these thoughts, my sisters just recently got with a guy herself and she's talking about dating and were it's all new exciting and I feel sad I won't ever have that again?? Not sure what response I'm after thank you xxx

Thank you everyone for your replies really am Iall over the place all I know is it hurts me to think of leaving. I get that we all get comfortable in long term relationships and that the excitement dosnt last forever, and yes I nearly met this other man few years ago when we was messaging but ultimately I stopped it and decided I wanted to stay with current partner. We also don't get to go out much as of lockdown but before that we would take holidays and shopping trips you just end up being comfortable and do still look forward to spending time with him. Just the feeling of is this it.. but then it hurts me to think of leaving.. Life is so hard sometimes I quess Ill figure It out thank you everyone xxx will message back after I finish work tonight.

I think rather than framing your life and happiness in terms of your relationship, or this other man, you need to consider it in terms of just YOU.

Do you have a career - and if so, are you pushing yourself to be as successful as you can be? Do you have hobbies - have they led to anything that makes you feel proud? Have you experienced new things, travelled, learnt a new skill or a new qualification? Do you have friendship groups that fulfil you?

You are only 27 and I worry you are falling into the trap where you haven't been alone enough to figure out who you are, and what you want. Life doesn't and shouldn't feel so meh already - however, you have the chance to change it irrespective of which partner you end up with. Make your life what you want it to be - and then you will know if you're with the right partner or not. But looking to a man to provide excitement in your life isn't the answer - as you will always feel a bit stuck and empty without your own hobbies, achievements and milestones to look forward to.

Think more about what you want out of life - then figure out whether your current relationship enables that.