Co-parenting while separated but living together?

[Lychnis]

Does anyone have any experience of co-parenting and living under the same roof while separated from their partner?

My H and I are talking of separation but we cannot afford to move on/out yet. We've been married 7 years, together for 12. One child. We argue a lot. We both still have love for each other but recognise that it will be hard to change this dynamic we have and it's not good for anyone, least of all our young child.

Our finances are tied up in the house, neither of us can afford to move out. We can of course sell the house and release money but that's a while off. We don't want such immediate and major disruption for our young child.

We have no savings. I currently work 4 days so need to get full time job and finish paying car loan (2 years) before I am in a position to fund separate homes.

I thought perhaps we could live separate lives while co-parenting but not sure how this could actually work. Do you tell your children? Do you have separate routines? Can it remain amicable and civil? Is it just a bad idea? Any pearls of wisdom appreciated.

Bumping this, OP. No experience myself but there are people it seems to work for.

I tried but it was horrific. He constantly undermined me on literally any parenting. If I said "right homework time" he would immediately say "no it's not, homework doesn't matter, just shut up and watch telly." If I was reading with DS, he'd come in the room and be as disruptive as possible, lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke in our faces, putting the telly on max volume, etc. He would tell DS (who had abandonment trauma due to his birth mum walking out) "she'll soon forget about you and have a new boyfriend and never bother with you again, just like your first mum did, cos nobody likes you"

The whole reason I wanted to split was his emotional abuse of DS. He knew this and he ramped up the abuse massively to try to make me too afraid to leave. (it didn't work as I knew it was better for DS firstly to only experience the abuse 50% of the time instead of 100%, and secondly to see that you don't sit around in a relationship and let the other person abuse you.)

I was married to a cunt though - maybe you're not?

Wow, EvenMore, that’s horrific.

Thanks Throughtheday

Oh Evenmore I’m so sorry to hear you went through that.

Hope your boy is ok too.