Keep me away from the phone....

[bathsh3ba]

So the guy I was seeing and I have hit 'pause' for a week or so while we work out if we are going to continue dating or not.

We had a full and frank discussion by phone call this morning; I was certainly honest and it feels like he was too. He originally asked to take a break a week ago but we had continued talking daily and basically cyber-dating until I said 'look, this almost-dating thing isn't right, we need to either date or not, but friends won't work'. He agreed and we talked on the phone about the reasons why we are both cautious about dating and the upshot was we are going to meet to discuss next week.

So I now have to find a way to sit on my hands till then and not mess it up by texting him. I said I'd give him time to think so I need to show him the respect of doing that. But I will be worrying that he will make up his mind not to date me before next week. Arrgh. Help! Keep me sane!

Ooh this sounds so familiar to something I went through a couple of weeks back. We'd been dating for only 2 weeks but it was all very intense very quickly, then he was triggered massively by something that reminded him of his ex's behaviour. He freaked, I freaked because of his reaction (to ignore) and it all blew up. To his credit he then said he couldn't give me what I needed long term and it would be unkind to continue... I'm almost certain that I would have called time if he hadn't.

What was the trigger? That's what I'd be thinking about... And are you in East Anglia?

My fella and I had a silly row recently and he suggested he would take a week apart from me to decide how he felt. I said, I don’t play games like that, you are with me or you aren’t, I won’t be put in a temporary waiting room while you are off doing God knows what with who knows what. Choose now and be done with.

Lo and behold, he picked me over losing me permanently. If he hadn’t, good riddance. At least I would have known where I stood.

I’ve been cocked around like that before. I don’t do limbo any more.

Not knowing where you stand can do your head in.

I'm not in East Anglia! And he has explained the trigger. He has a week. If no further forward, I will tell him that's it. I literally meet a guy I like about once every 2 years so don't see the point of trawling the dating site again. Maybe I'm just meant to be single!

Sounds like he enjoys the drama of dating more than the actual dates. It would be easier to work out if he wants to date you, by actually dating you.

Instead, this drama lama is wailing about being triggered and needing a break.

What is so attractive about this man that you allow him to pretentiously dick you about in this way?

You’re allowing this man to drop you like a toy he’s bored of, stick you on the shelf for a week while he does whatever he pleases, and then maaaaaaaybe if you’re lucky enough pick you back up at the end of it and let you know if you’ve passed muster and if he’s willing to keep dating you?

Lady, where IS your self worth!? A man who is into you wouldn’t be willing to go a week without contact, or leaving you hanging unsure about his feelings. If he decides at the end of the week to keep seeing you just imagine the power dynamic there. Imagine the stain on your self worth having accepted this behaviour. You’re a person, you’re not a pair of jeans he doesn’t think fit properly that he’s gonna stick in the drawer until he has chance to return them to the shop.

This is batshit, have you got problems with your self esteem by any chance?