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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Kindest way to end this?

8 replies

Teddypicker · 21/06/2021 22:04

Sorry this is long ......
So, been with DP for 8 years, love him dearly, he literally saved my life many years ago (when we were both 23). Had a lovely future planned, get married, live a happy comfortable life in french countryside. All seems so perfect. On paper.

Trouble is I haven't seen him for 6 months now due to Covid restrictions and, to be honest, I can't stop thinking about all the negatives - his irritating habits, the snidey looks he gave me when I was a bit overweight, the rudeness of his family at times ( when they thought I didn't understand what they were saying in French - but I did). Now the prospect of him coming over and spending the whole of August here in my house when I'm only off work for 2 weeks, is filling me with dread. He used to come over most weekends pre covid, but would spend Christmas /new year with me but I always had to work so I would have to creep around in my own bedroom so as not to wake him up. All this just makes me feel ill. The prospect of just going to the airport to pick him up is giving me the rage.

Sorry for the rant, but my point is I realise I have to finish this with him BUT do I wait for him to come over here? Seems very cruel. Not gonna do it when I go over there in case i get stranded somewhere. So do I finish with him over FaceTime? Seems such a shit way to handle it, please help MNConfused

OP posts:
NakedNugget · 21/06/2021 22:07

Of course it would be wrong to let him come over and then tell him. I think FaceTime is the best possible way in the circumstances

category12 · 21/06/2021 22:07

Far far worse to drag the poor bastard over here to break up with him or vice versa. How shit would that be?! Grin Spend a load of money to get dumped? Nope.

You're long distance, it's absolutely fine to tell him by Facetime or phone.

aiwblam · 21/06/2021 22:09

FaceTime is acceptable due to covid.

RandomMess · 21/06/2021 22:09

Agreed FaceTime.

Thank goodness you have realised that you need to end it.

Kattrina · 21/06/2021 22:10

Just be honest with him. Sounds like you have made ypur mind up

Teddypicker · 21/06/2021 22:10

Thank you. That's what I think, it just seems so cowardly though. He won't take it well and I obviously don't want him to hurt more than necessary. It's so shit but I can't stay with him out of pity

OP posts:
category12 · 21/06/2021 22:12

It's not cowardly - it's the only sensible option. It's not like he lives just down the road.

Teddypicker · 21/06/2021 22:15

Just the thought of 'dumping' him electronically and not face to face seems so wrong, but yes you're all right. I'm gutted tbh Sad

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