What happened?

[Emerarta]

I met a guy last week - met for coffee - he asked me out for another date 2 days later. Seemed very keen to meet. We met again and spent the whole day together. Tbh his behaviour was a bit odd - I think he was attempting to be funny but it was failing flat in that it was mostly coming across as quite rude. I was joking back to ease things as I thought perhaps he was anxious. I indicated to him that I liked him etc and that he didn’t need to worry etc if he was - honestly at times it was cringe worthy some of the stuff he was saying.

At the end of the night there was a bit of awkwardness- no plans to meet up again etc- a few sporadic texts between us yesterday initiated by him then today I get an epic text about how he needs time for himself between his children etc - work etc etc.

For some reason this has completely annoyed me - he has been texting and calling me for weeks. Chatted about his kids, breakup, death of his mother. - takes me on a cringy date where I tried to be understanding thinking he was nervous - ie split 5 years but only back into dating now - for him to text me like a 13 year old making up some shit about needing time alone.

Wtf is wrong with me?-im warm and open and caring but I seem to meet the worst men, in fact the nicer I am the worse I’m treated!! Sorry but I’m just so fed up with this behaviour from grown men - this latest man is 52 ffs 🤦‍♀️

Please dont beat yourself up about this. Its really is him and not you. When I was dating in my early 50s all I found were men struggling with the divorce, not liking women much, needed time to themselves, looking for a surrogate wife/mother, it was all so dreary for many dates. Most of these men are rejected by their wives or girlfriends and are on OLD or just out to meet women to get an ego boost or a quick shag. Remember, we are not dumping grounds for mens problems when you go out on dates. Thats what gets me the most. They can often come across as using us as their therapist, they talk it out, feel better but wont move the relationship forward. Seen it many times. I realised this and although I am with someone now it was a long journey of men like you have met. Its not you its him.

It sounds like he was actually being rude deliberately to see if you would tolerate it. And because you didbt laugh abs kiss his ass he took the hump. Or maybe you weren't a good enough free therapist for all his baggage!

Why do you think theres something wrong with you when a nasty twat doesnt like you?

Like you say about the nice you are the worse your treated - that's because they think because you are nice you dont have boundaries.

You should work on spotting signs of nasty ,manipulative, soul sucking and potentially abusive sorts and picking up on them asap op.

You may find this one is just blowing cold in order to test if you will forgive that shit in a week or so when he magically reappears with a shit excuse.

Dont give him any more headspace and block him on all platforms. He is a weirdo. And in future, don't excuse rudeness as social awkwardness. It is usually not.

Why would you want to see someone again who was unfunny and rude?
Write this one off.

It’s not you, it’s him.

It’s actually great that you’d spent the whole day together, on first reading I thought it was too much but it’s done you a favour as he wasn’t able to keep up the act and you’ve seen the real him, obnoxious and rude trying to dress it up as being ‘funny’.

Dodged a bullet!

You’re annoyed because you should have been the one to call it dead after the date.

But he has because you didn’t, now you have the “Fuck I’ve been rejected by someone that isn’t worthy of rejecting me”.

Annoying but next time you pull the trigger on the lake duck first.

*lame

It's deffo not you it's totally him and this is the reason I just cnba with this shit anymore
Bloody games and pissing about . No thanks

It doesn't matter if he thinks he's funny but if you find it rude then you don't need to put up with him anyway. See it as a blessing he's cooled it off. Block him.

Its irritated you because hes acted like a twat, subjected you to that, and then got on his high horse and "called it off". Reminds me of the time this guy chased me for weeks, we eventually met a few times, and ended up in bed ... for me to find literally a 3 inch soft thin penis. Couldn't believe it. Was still nice to him and then HE played ME!! I didnt want him and his baby carrot but I was so angry that he had the cheek to do that.

Write it off
Get in quicker next time !

Don't let it bother you or waste time trying to understanding him. Sounds like you didn't want to see him again anyway

There's no point in analysing why, just let it go. I've just blocked someone OLD, who I thought would be a good match and had a decent chat with, but he'll unfortunately never know that I did it by mistake when blocking someone else who turned out to be totally unsuitable. Looked everywhere, but seems I can't rectify it. Never mind, mistakes happen and he will be left wondering ( and decide I must be a freak probably, as I'd think that).

Sorry dodgy internet connection. Thank you all for replying- I think it was more the texting like a 12 year old that iced the cake for me. I didn’t feel the need to finish anything as we weren’t going out - literally had 2 dates. What I would have preferred is either him disappearing or if he really felt he needed to say something then make a call!.