Can you repair a marriage and fall back in love with each other

[lostandbroken21]

I've been married for 7 years but in total I've been with my OH for 18 years
I met him when I was 16 and feel head over heels.
We have two children 7 + 4
I've made a massive mistake and had an affair.

I'm an awful person came clean about it my hubby was surprisingly ok about it.
I've had depression for a couple of years before that post natel depression. I hit 30 and my career took off and felt like I could take on the world.
Now I'm in love with a guy whom I've ended it with. Still love my hubby but not sure what way I love him.
My hubby is a great guy I'm not sure if we got together so young and we have grew apart. Kids take toll on marriage.
My hubby is far from perfect. He's always text other women behind my back. And I know I'm in the wrong but part of me did it because I felt like well he has always done what he wants.
When I had my little boy I had emcs. That week my hubby had to start a new job. So I'd had surgery in a lot of pain on my own with a new born baby.
When he got home from work he spent hours on his phone talking to his new work mate. Sarah. They are still very good friends but I use to beg him to turn his phone off and he wouldn't.

So we have both done wrong.

Can we repair this. Im having counselling and after I've completed mine I would like to try Marriage counselling.

Has any body got any story's of a marriage repairing after so much damage

Sounds like you have both checked out! Might be a perfect opportunity to co parent with your friend, and both have the happiness and love you are after. Sounds like your marriage is dead but no reason not to work together to do the best job raising your children.

Why do you want to repair it would be my base question?

Yes you’ve both behaved appallingly, but as it’s both sides there is clearly a reason, possibly as you say growing up and apart. Ex and I were the same, young meeting, long relationship and we lost each other and he cheated. There was no way back for me as the cheating was the outcome that opened my eyes to fundamental differences.

End it now and it sounds like there is a chance of an amicable co-parenting.

Why do you want to or think you should repair it? Sometimes people fall out of love and relationships ends, and it’s sad, but ends up being the best thing for everyone involved. You’ve both cheated, you don’t think you love him as a husband anymore, neither of you is happy. You aren’t describing two people who just have grown apart over the years with the drudgery of raising children - you’re two people with no basic care or respect for each other, and there’s rarely any coming back from that.

There are no prizes, at the end of your life, for having spent years limping along in a dead relationship, trying to fix it. You’d do better using the counselling to discuss how you can separate amicably and keep things friendly for the sake of co-parenting the DC.

Why bother reparing it?
It sounds awful. You cheated and it sounds like he has, multiple times. He isnt just texting these women. And his disregard of how talking with them 24/7 makes you feel is disrespectful as hell. Life is too short.

Call it a day already, the whole thing is toxic. If you cut your losses now then maybe things will be able to remain amicable for co parenting.

Good on you for having therapy, hopefully it will lead you to healthier choices moving forwards.

Gosh I came on here to share my story and say yes it’s possible but from what you’ve said I honestly think the best thing for both of you is to move on as it seems like neither want to be in the relationship and are now staying together simply for the kids or just for the sake of having been together for so long and not wanting the change.

Whatever you both decide I wish you the best