Last year, my child's grandad (my dad) made some serious (but completely false) allegations to child's nursery and social services about me.
Alleged that I "battered" my child, didn't feed child properly and kept child looking "scruffy and dirty".
Allegations were very quickly found to be false by both the nursery and the social services - both of whom were completely on my side when I explained further background as to the reason/motivation for him to make the allegations in the first place.
He blamed me for his wife (not my mum) leaving their marriage, turning to drink and cheating on him (in no particularly order, but all were issues with her).
Basically, the wife couldn't cope with her adult son (from a previous marriage) being gay (apparantly that's what "originally" triggered her alcoholism and drink driving benders).
As well as struggling to accept her son being gay, she "couldn't cope" with my decision to marry someone from another race. She was a bigot in every sense of the word.
Sadly, my dad refused to see this at the time and in his quest to make me more "palatable" and "acceptable", he expected me to modify my own life in order to meet with her approval. I refused and said "no".. Your wife is a racist bigot - that's the real issue here. Not me or her son.
So when she left him for another man, dad blamed me, turned bitter and twisted and began a crusade to discredit ME as a mother and a person.
I stood up to him, he didn't like it. Hence the false allegations.
At the time of the allegations being found false, I told him I want absolutely NOTHING to do with him and that he long longer has a daughter.
Trouble is, my child is obsessed with him, loves him to bits. Child too young to understand what their grandad did and the motivation behind it.
Child wanted to send father's day gifts and card to grandad so I arranged this.
Child phoned grandad to say happy father's day yesterday but I made no bones about the fact that I myself didn't send a card (from me) or any gift.
A couple of people in the family have said I'm being "mean" as he's an old man and might not be around next year... AIBU to be so angry, hurt and sickened by what he did to me? They said things like "forgive him... be the better person" and "he's just old.. he got the wrong end of the stick.." etc.
AIBU to have cut off from him? The sight of him still makes me angry. I've had counselling and still on strong medication to cope with what he did.