Is he flirting or am I reading too much into things?

[SLJ161086]

Colleague at work recently got quite chatty with me over work stuff and then quickly moved to personal lives (we don't work closely but have some connection). He knows I'm going through a divorce and he has a gf. He has a v dry sense of humour and often jibes / makes jokey insults, like telling me I won't be single forever cos men can be desperate and have low standards (I'm a single mum - I know that sounds awful but he's actually a really nice person, it's a definite joke). He has a gf and does openy talk about her but I sense he's flirting with me. Like saying I'll definitely get married again and would I have any more kids etc. He also joked about me being in my mid 30s (he's two years younger) and that means I'll be all about the beige undies and until I prove otherwise he firmly believes that what I'm sporting. I think the undies chat crossed a line but do you think he is flirting with me or just general jokes? For info I don't respond to the undies chat other than laugh it off and say yeah I'm Bridget Jones what can I say haha...aarggh why do unavailable men do this! Unless I am reading too much into it and it's just all jokes?

It doesn't matter if he is flirting or this is just office banter. He is dating someone else. Imagine being his girlfriend and worrying about his wandering eye. Work life can get a bit dull sometimes and we all like to spice things up in our heads. Find someone single, uncomplicated and who doesn't want to massage his ego with the single lady at work...or sex on the photocopier before he moves onto his next target. Run!

It doesn't sound like flirting but his "banter" clearly isn't funny and is overstepping the line. Jibbing at you about your underwear is odd. He's testing your boundaries to see what he can get away with saying to you. I'd distance myself from these types of men.

He's being very intrusive and inappropriate.

I agree with a pp, he is testing your boundaries to see what he can do and get away with. You need to shut this down.

Men like him may seem funny and "nice" in the surface but they turn out to be creepy.

Next time he tries this, shut it down and keep it to work related conversation.

I don't think he sounds flirty, just someone who jokes around.

He sounds like a proper bellend. Tell him that. Tell him you read an interesting article about men explaining that the smaller their dick is, the more mysogenistic jokes they make. See what he makes of that. Why are men like this? Why do we put up with it? I used to cet this kind of "banter" at work ten years ago. It's one of my big regrets in life that I didn't deal with it properly.

"until I prove otherwise he firmly believes that what I'm sporting. I think the undies chat crossed a line"

I mean if HR heard that, they'd confirm it stampeded over all the lines, OP. Completely inappropriate at work.

Absolutetly what the others said.

I wouldn't see this is flirting. This is intrusive, over stepping the boundaries banter and is designed to humiliate you. Hs's not flirting with you.

• you won't be single forever because desperate men have low standards?

• taking the piss re your underwear?

Hugely disrespectful even if they are 'jokes'.

As for asking you if you'd have more children, how is that flirting?

Seriously, i get it's tough being a single parent in your 30s (been there and done that) but you need to raise your bar.

Imagine being in a relationship with level.of negativity? The novelty of his 'humour' would wear off pretty quickly.

To me he’s just making conversation or banter and not flirting. I have conversations with the guys in my work like that and it’s definitely not flirting. This guy also has a girlfriend so if your interested you need to back right off.

The underwear comment is over the line though and actually pretty sleezy.

Some men who hear a woman is going through a divorce think she is eager and easy for some play time.

Is negging still a thing? Is that this? He insults you (beige undies) which motivates you to prove him wrong by a bit of show and tell.

He sounds awful.

Doesn’t sound like flirting to me but you obviously fancy him to have posted this twice

Not a charmer is he? no he's not flirting, he's joking to pass the time.

I’d say he’s flirting as he knows you are available because of the divorce and is testing the water to see whether you might be up for a fling.

He is seeing if you’re up for being his bit on the side. So, yes, flirting, but not with a relationship in mind.

I personally would probably have such a laugh with him and give as good as I got, but if you find it offensive then I'd stop laughing and then he'll see it's not welcome. For clarity though, no, I wouldn't consider it flirting at all, just joking around

He isn't nice op he is a complete dick.

Saying shitty things when you are going through a difficult time and playing them off as a joke. I have a dark sense of humour and eve I wouldnt even say that shit to my bestie. He is being exceedingly inappropriate.

I bet if you didnt play along your get accused of being humourless by the asshole. He doesn't sound like someone who is flirting, he sounds like the workplace narcissist who has targeted you. And like he is testing to see what your boundaries are.

Nice? The mind boggles op!
He isnt nice. He is vile

Ugh what a sleazy twat.

All pretty sleazy op and you sound delighted by it really. Feel a bit sorry for his girlfriend.

@booboo24 totally agree
Banter ... if happy with it give as good as you get
If not happy then tell him and his ego to piss off