What will happen to me next?

[youcancallmemiss]

I'm in the final stages of planning to leave my husband. It's been a long, unhappy marriage. I signed a lease on a new house last week. Nobody knows, not even my close friends. He's currently upstairs sulking and not speaking to me (again) In about one months time I'm taking my belongings and going for good. Financially it's possible but tight.

I must admit I'm scared but I have nothing to loose. What I want to know is what will happen to me next? I'm 55. I want some time to myself for a while to recover but I would eventually like a new relationship, but on my terms. I'd like intimacy and love in my life again, I didn't plan giving up sex at this age but I read so many horror stories about dating and I don't trust men any more. Has anyone found themselves single at this age and what happened to you, good or bad?

I learnt that you make yourself happy, dont rely on someone else to do it for you, you will become a burden and end up up disapointed. With the right attitude you can make being single work and enjoy a sense freedom unknown to many.
I meet a lot of people in my job but for now l enjoy being on my own. That in itself can be attractive to a lot of men. I am proud to have raised my two sons completely independently, the past eight years , done it my own way, no interference, l love my own space am comfortable with just me.
If you want to make it work, you will, get busy creating a new way of life and new.doors will open..Good luck.

OP the difference in your case to mine is it is your decision. However hard that is, you will be ok because you have agency in it. You are unhappy and you are taking positive action to change that. Other posters are right - you will be happier once the dust has settled. For me it was a shock. I had no agency in it at all. My ex left me with two young kids (2 and 7), I was in perimenopause, and it has been v v difficult for me to cope personally, let alone form any relationships. It won’t be the same for you. I responded to @OliviaNewtAndJohn ‘s post because I related to it so strongly. And despite how hard and lonely it has felt at times, I am ok, and you definitely will be! Good luck and stay strong

The fact is that none of us know what is going to happen next

Did any of us predict covid ?

Do you have help to remove your belongings all at once ?

Do you plan to divorce ?

Once you have moved, do you have family & friends for support ?

You won't regret the move

I hope that you find happiness for yourself & with someone else in the future

A man’s view.

Split up from my partner six months ago. She’s lovely, love her to bits. Nobody cheated, ( I hate cheaters and liars ).

My decision. Some heartache in the beginning but still best friends. Luckily, she had her own house and income and I had mine. So no financial trauma.

We share the dog. We joke that the dog has two homes and not two tails.

I’m 53. Love my own company. Love other people’s company. Love work, love to climb mountains, wild swim in rivers, walk the coast, walk along the beach with the surf lapping my ankles....... she doesn’t.

Loves her soaps, fancy restaurants, clothes shopping. And why shouldn’t she !!!!

Some great years together but our paths started to diverge. No upset, rancour, just a realisation that life is short and we both want to fulfil different dreams.

I’ll always be there for her.....

Not currently looking for a relationship and definitely not looking. At the moment, anyway. I’m sure many of the people on OLD are genuine but it’s a haystack.

And I’d want a shiny needle.

Oh, I work out, dress smart and was brought up with manners. There are some decent guys out there.

( In the haystack )

When you move into your new home, the sense of release and relief will make you giddy. And 55 is the new 40. Eventually, when you’ve had time to heal, just do a little window shopping. At our age, we know a bargain when we see one 😉

Don’t focus on the risk, focus on the reward.