Ex new baby

[Lounew]

So found out today my violent ex is having a baby and I am broken. He as nothing to do with our children and his new gf is a family friend I am so angry upset and don't understand y plz help

Does the new girlfriend know he was violent towards you OP

Yes

In that case do nothing. She knows and she still got pregnant. Not your responsibility. Put your energies into looking after yourself and your children and leave them to it

OP cherish your escape and hold your children tightly. This abusive man is out of your lives.

Remember OP, abusers do not change.

🌸

Thank u so much needed to hear that x

What are you specifically upset about?

Try and pin point why this upsets you.

This woman has gone into knowing what he did. Yes, he probably told her how it's all your fault. But she knew before she even got involved. There's nothing you can do, for her or about her.

You are out. He won't change. I suspect you are upset at the loss of the imaginary family. Somewhere in your head you are imagining him being a great boyfriend and father to that child. You are grieving what you should have had, had he not being an abusive prick.

But they will not have the perfect life. They may appear to. But its not real. You know what being in a relationship with him is like.

There is no loss for you here. Though I get emotionally, it doesn't feel like that. Him not being involved with your child is the best thing for you and your child.

I agree if she knew about his violence in advance it’s a different scenario. Hopefully the professionals will step in quickly. I’m glad you and your DC are safe.

Be grateful that he is not in yours and your children's lives. If this woman knew he was violent then she is an absolute fool to be involved with him, let alone have a baby with him.

Don't get involved. But keep an open mind, it sounds like it all new and lovely atm!
I remember thinking that about my ex husband. How happy and in love they were in spite of how nasty and abuse he was towards me. 18 months later she contacted me he had been violent towards her and her child. She even gave evidence in court for me. I don't think men like that really change and if anything their behaviour gets worse over time.
Just be glad your out of it and putty the wan who decides to start a family with a violent man.

Thank u everyone and yes your right I am upset because I think they will have a nice life with a new baby etc but I know deep down who he is and he won't change . Already heard he been violent to her already but like you all say not my concern . He didn't change in 25years so dam sure he won't now

They will not have a nice life and while I would of course feel sorry for the innocent baby, its not your concern and you need to put them all out of your head. You've saved yourself and your kids from him - you're free and should be so proud. Shes gone into it knowing he's violent so shes obviously got her own issues but none of it is your problem.

You’re projecting That they’ll are having a ‘happy after after’, even though in reality you know this isn’t true, and maybe grieving for this life you wanted but never got.

Thank u for your advice x