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Relationships

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Adulthood crush

6 replies

witchywitchof2biggerones · 20/06/2021 22:14

Hi MN,

I haven’t been on here for years but I need to write down the overwhelming feelings I’ve had since the beginning of the first lockdown; in the vain hope that when I read this back I think stupid cow, grow up and move on...

I haven’t told anyone about this at all, not even my mum or my very close friends - I’ve got a ridiculous crush on another man, the kind of crush that has the butterflies-in-the-tummy sensation whenever he was near me! The kind of crush I experienced when I was a teenager, except I am now hurtling towards 50yrs old Blush

I’m happily married and have been for 23 years, with 2 adult children who are just about to leave the nest. There was a point in our marriage where we both took each other for granted and wondered if we should stay together now that the kids no longer physically needed us. We both agreed that it would be stupid to throw away our marriage, and our time spent together, and worked hard to get through that wobble. Sex wise, we’re having great sex, several times a week, and DH is the most caring, unselfish lover ever. I want for nothing and have a comfortable lifestyle. I’m very active and work full time.

When I clapped eyes on my crush, the overwhelming feeling of OMFG you’re effing gorgeous completely engulfed me - the first time ever in my married life I’d ever looked at another man in this intense way. He’s younger than me, is very, very fit and has a body to die for. He’s very friendly, charming and made me feel like the only person in the room. Every time I saw him he made a beeline for me and we would spend time just chatting about stuff but he would ask questions that had the potential to lead onto other things. He’s married too. I tried not putting him on a pedestal - he’s a real human too, as in he burps, farts and is probably a grumpy bugger at times too. He could even be a serial flirter and I’m one, in lots of women, who he chats/flirts with.

I kept thinking about my DH, the kids, how would I feel if the situation was reversed and made it a rule not to ask him personal questions - for example, I don’t know his name.

Then lockdown happened. The feelings I’ve experienced since March last year go between some sort of grief and a sadness that I’ll probably never see him again. I really do hope I don’t see him again.

When will this stupid crush feeling leave me?!

OP posts:
BeautifulSofa · 20/06/2021 22:20

Meh, enjoy the crush. It's not going anywhere. But it's fun.

Do you see him regularly?

AramintaLee · 20/06/2021 22:24

I don't think having a crush is anything to feel guilty about. We all have them and we all get over them. Someone once told me the way to get over a crush is - every time you think about them, instead of thinking of them in some idealistic, romance novel kinda way, picture them doing mundane real life things like... farting or taking a shit. I know that is very gross, but it's a stark reminder that the reality is very different from the fantasy.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 20/06/2021 22:25

This depends on your actual behaviour I think.

Are you just daydreaming to yourself and being genuinely friendly with him?

Or are you flirting in a way that you wouldn't speak to him if either of your partners was there?

Facelikeanose · 21/06/2021 09:22

They fade with no input so distract yourself or something whenever you fancy a fantasy about it. Also yeah you’re probably one of many. These type usually do this to make the day go quicker at work etc.

witchywitchof2biggerones · 21/06/2021 12:49

No, I haven’t seen him since the first lockdown began, am hoping he’s moved away and the pleasant memories fade over time!

OP posts:
witchywitchof2biggerones · 21/06/2021 12:57

My chat was regular run of the mill stuff, stuff that I would say to anyone - honestly he must be at least 15yrs younger than me and my ego took a massive boost!!

OP posts:
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