Anyone else's ex hopeless?

[Maydaybankholiday]

Does anyone elses ex do the absolute bare minimum? Just on for a rant.
All the kids school stuff, school zoom calls, hospital appointments, getting them organised for kids parties, their own birthday parties..... Its all me.
And on top of that he's now paying the bare minimum for 3 kids and every time he has them he changes the drop off/pick up plans meaning I leave work early when I needn't and then need to find alternative child care when i have to work and hes running late.
Arggg it's just really annoying me today.
This morning I said could he get them home for 10am latest as we had a bday party.
He brings them at 10.30 (had to be there at 10.45) one has no pants and swimming shorts on, they haven't brushed their hair or teeth and need to get changed.
Rant over!!

My ex means well but I do bloody everything and pay for everything. I’m so over it.

My ex doesn’t see the kids at all or pay any maintenance, he might as well not exist 🤷‍♀️

My ex sees his son once every 4-6 weeks for one afternoon. He takes DS to his parents house so they do all the cooking etc. He pays minimum child maintenance and has NEVER bought DS even so much as a pair of shoes or helped with school uniforms etc. DS is 14.

Here in Denmark we have an app used for all school stuff, all the admin is done through it. My partner's ex has never even downloaded it. I have it on my phone and help as best I can - the kid's teachers know it's often me messaging and are fine with it. He doesn't help with any regular, day to day stuff although is ok with the odd add-hoc assistance.

On the plus side, he pays over what would be calculated through the system (we don't actually need the money but it's important to him to contribute so fair enough there) and is fairly active with them when he has them every other weekend.

If he has them. Last Thursday he went out drinking, fell in the harbour with his phone and was in no fit state to have them that evening. This is not a common thing, although it's not the first time either.

The eldest kid is currently being assessed for ADHD and he is being very active and involved in that because he has it - very badly - and doesn't want her childhood to be ruined by it the way his was.

So yes he's hopeless, but he does care. Before she kicked him out it was very much a case off feeling like she was the only adult looking after three kids, instead of a couple looking after two kids.