A daft question about OLD

[Miniestelle]

Hi everyone,

I am going to try online dating. Been divorced and single for 5 years now so think it's time to go dip my toe in.

Got loads of questions but two pressing ones, please can you help?

1. Does everybody look glamourous with filters on their profile photos? I'm not very selfie confident and afraid I look like a tit in me photos. Also how many do you put on? But on the other hand what if I just put bog standard snaps of me on and no one likes me? Can you see if people have rejected you?

1. What on earth do I put on the write a bit about yourself bit? A couple of sentences or an in-depth mini essay about myself. Don't want to write anything corny- want to stay cool lol.

Any other tips would be very very gratefully received.

Thank you! X

Sorry about this, another quick question. I have used Match.com. I really fancied something like the old Guardian soul mates. Does anyone know if there are any similar OLD apps?

Assume everyone is actually less attractive than their photos. Trust me.

Avoid plenty of fish. We used to call it the parade of the damned and that's pretty accurate.

Take no shit. That is 0 shit null, none, NADA. No giving people the benefit of the doubt and definitely block any unsolicited penis pics. I'm not a prude but it shows you exactly what part of his body he thinks from....

Good luck.

Plenty of Fish used to be called Plenty of Freaks by my friends who were dating.

It's been a while since I did it (and met my husband, I might add) but this is what I would advise:

1. I would say 4-5 photos that represent you. Personally I would avoid a very heavy filter but a subtle one like the basic instagram ones that adjust colours and tones should be OK. Nothing cartoonish or with fake eyelashes etc.

Take the photo in good light when you feel you look your best.

Don't have all selfies either. A few of you doing things you enjoy and give an idea of your lifestyle would be good.

1. You can keep your about me simple. Hard not to be clichèd about these things but outline the things you enjoy and the things that are important to you. Nothing narky about "liars need not apply" or anything like that!

The Telegraph has a similar site to the Guardian - my neighbour's on there and said a lot of the same people who were on the Guardian are on it.

Hahaha love 'parade of the damned' that's so funny. Right got that. Been having a look at the profiles what's with all the moody photos of half a face and just one eye showing?! Im cringing. Will they all be expecting Love Island type lasses? I'll be a right let down if so.

Haha love parade of freaks

Thank you MrsTophamhat, That's all great advice. Lovely to know you it had a positive outcome for you! So maybe about 5 to 7 sentences kind thing for the about me?

So photos where I am genuinely smiling, not pouty ones?

Thank you Hollowtalk, I'll have a skeg at the telegraph one

Men absolutely hate the heavily filtered look .. I had maybe 5 pics of myself all within last 2/3 years old and none filtered
Anyone I spoke to talked about how they'd met women who looked nothing like their pics .. I must say I've probably met 4-5 men over the years for a drink/ food or coffee and I'd say they all had used pics that were at least 6-10 years old .. so annoying
I'd not do it again to be honest
Found it slightly addictive reading the profiles and looking to see who had " liked " me
It's full of cheats , liers , emotional mess ups, time wasters
I gather that's the men and the women
I've decided I'm fine on my own and if I meet someone over the frozen peas in Tesco so be it 🤨

66babe, oh dear. That's what I'm worried about, that it makes me feel crapper about myself than I feel already!

Would love to meet someone over the frozen peas too. I can see already how it can become addictive with the 'likes' thing.

I'd say go for it and enjoy .. just keep your eyes open , your wits about you and don't stand for any crap
Good luck ! There must be some decent ones out there ! I just didn't meet mine ...
I did also have an 84 year old ask me the size of my tits 😂 really didn't know if I should laugh or cry

I just put up three or four of the more flattering ones taken in recent years.

Photos taken by other people might make you appear a bit more sociable, if you have a few taken reasonably up close. One full length, one where you can see your face better. Nothing miserable-looking.

If the guys do not have a clear picture of their face at all, you can assume they are in a relationship.

The world is full of cheats, dickheads and timewasters. In real life, if a dickhead came up to you in the frozen pea aisle, you'd just ignore him. Best to do the same on OLD.

Definitely get some recent photos (filters are pointless if you are going to meet in real life) and be honest when it comes to writing about you. You don’t have to make yourself out to be the most exciting person in the world.

Be prepared for time wasters etc but don’t take it personally. Enjoy it though!

Yeah I'd try to include some pictures that show who you are, not just what you look like. & at least one full body shot. A little bit of touching up is fine (removing blemishes or fixing the lighting) but obviously they still need to look like you.

Don't stress too much about what you write - many men won't even read it. & you can always change it later.

Good plan going with Match - generally the men on paid sites are taking dating a lot more seriously than those on Tinder.

I went full hog and had zero filters,a no makeup pic and a full length of me in my gym gear (lycra!)
It honestly went in my favour, I put up with ZERO shit and disregarded anyone offering comments on my so called sexiness.
I met them quickly, blocked them on the way home from dates if the dates went badly, and I've been with a lovely guy for nearly 2 years now.
BE FUSSY. Very fussy.

Try to think of it as though you're writing a blog for your best friends, for people who love you and care for you and have a great sense of humour.

And bear in mind the nicest guy you know - whether he's your best friend's husband, your brother, your dad, or whoever - and think, "Would Nice Guy behave like this?" If he wouldn't, don't tolerate it in the guy you're dating.