My child's father, who I left 8 years ago. Contact is steady, co-parenting is a case of him doing his thing and me doing mine. No issues there.
The issue is his constant assumption that i should engage with him. There is a lot to this but I'll try to keep it brief.
Our relationship ended after 5 years because he was extremely emotionally abusive and manipulative.
He cycles throughout this whole time trying to be nice, then turning nasty, trying sob stories and then turning nasty.
His girlfriend recently left him after a couple of months and he is escalating his nastiness with me. Its as though he can't take it out on her, for whatever reason, and so I am getting it.
Its all triggering me back to when we did break up and he took our son from nursery, claiming I'd never see him again. I was bombarded with abusive calls and texts from him and his family. I contacted children services who helped me get my child back, got a non molestation order and things settled down. But that time period of my life was the worst. He only had our son for 3 days, but it felt like a long time! I suffered nightmares of my son being taken from me for about a year afterwards. I was scared to send him to nursery for about 3 months and when I finally did I had the nursery make a plan with me so that I'd have time to get there if he showed up.
My whole point is, I feel how I did back then. It does not feel like his usual manageable outbursts with me. It feels like he is in an incredible unpredictable phase right now and it's worrying me. At the same time though, I can see how mentally I could be triggered back to that time and feeling how I am due to that.
Since his increase, and my anxiety spiking because of it, I am starting to feel that I need the police to speak to him if he keeps going. Which is another thing that's making me feel like I did back then.
He sounds completely unhinged sometimes. I dont respond unless it's about contact and so he just repeatedly texts when he starts. One text claimed "only I exist"
He pretended he wasn't seeing my messages arranging drop off, and was saying I was playing games and controlling by not responding. Then I called him out and told him my phone let's me know when a message has been received and he just said "and? Fuck off" so he was the one playing games!
I just needed to rant really. I'm usually able to just brush him off, but this time not so much and it's getting to me. He has even tried accessing my Instagram. It really is as though she has broke up with him and he's playing the whole thing out with me. He tried getting into my accounts when we broke up originally. Its never happened since until now.