I don't know what to do

[ejmay90]

To cut a long story short, I've been with my partner for the past 3 years. We went to primary school together and reunited at the gym over 3 years ago.
I brought a house for myself and my dog and it moved fast and he moved in quite soon after I did.
I fell pregnant and lost the baby, we then fell again and I had my son last May 2020.
I then had another miscarriage in December, unplanned baby but I'm not so keen on abortion but was taken out of my hands.
I also got made redundant 4 months after giving birth.
We live in a 1 bedroom house and we were unable to move due to him being on his parents mortgage. (They moved in 1 day before I did). This has finally been resolved and we're free to move now.
Me and his family have so many issues and they are nothing like me or my family. They only care about their own and it shows.
He sees where I'm coming from but also backs them even though he knows his mums immature.
The house situation has just made me resent his family from the stress we've had to deal with and it doesn't help how immature and childish his mum is (we had an argument and she deleted me on Instagram and then lied about her account being hacked)

Now my house is on the market I just dont know if it's best to do.
I've suggested couples counselling as we have a little boy and I don't want to split up his family.
He's not said no but also not said yes.

He also smokes weed but was supposed to be only other week which I was fine with. It seems to be creeping back up. He's not nice the next day and acts so stupid and just acts confused the next day.

I need advice as I dont know if I can afford my home now only working part time 😔

I don't know if you are planning all these babies "fell pregnant " ? but this all sounds so juvenile. I'm a big fat no as to weed so I would suggest that this is all just going to get worse . Look at moving on on your own and take care with your birth control .

Can you not live together but arrange for him to spend time with his DC. Do not have a druggie in the same house as a child.

@MrsMaizel
Yes my son was planned after our first miscarriage.
I was told not to go on birth control due to issues with my labour but I'm not sure that's anyone's concern or the point of this thread to be honest. I dont need anyone telling me about birth control as you don't know my past with it.
The point I'm making is we have had a lot of stress and grief the past year.
Can I ask why your a big fat no to weed?

@Bananalanacake yes I can tell him to leave and to see his son but I'm worried about money and not being able to afford the house by myself.
I wouldn't say he is a druggie. He smokes it every other week 1 night which isn't much but yes I agree I don't want my son growing up around It and it worrys me.
Even if we split and he sees his son, when he's old enough he will end up learning about it from him no doubt.

I am not really sure what your question is, what his family have done or why the house situation is there fault?

*their

Weed is a big no for me too. That would be enough for me to say goodbye.

@Aprilx sorry the question really is I don't know whether to stay with him or not.
We haven't been able to move as he had to help them with their mortgage so we couldn't then buy a bigger house before I went on maternity on my full time wage. So have had to stay in a very small 1 bedroom house with 2 adults a baby and a dog.

[quote ejmay90]@Bananalanacake yes I can tell him to leave and to see his son but I'm worried about money and not being able to afford the house by myself.
I wouldn't say he is a druggie. He smokes it every other week 1 night which isn't much but yes I agree I don't want my son growing up around It and it worrys me.
Even if we split and he sees his son, when he's old enough he will end up learning about it from him no doubt.[/quote]
So from reading this it sounds like the only reason for staying is the financial security? Is that the case?

You could afford your house on your own when you worked full time. Maybe the CMS payments you'd get and child benefit would be enough to make up the difference?

Money is not a good enough reason to stay in a relationship you're otherwise unhappy with

[quote ejmay90]@MrsMaizel
Yes my son was planned after our first miscarriage.
I was told not to go on birth control due to issues with my labour but I'm not sure that's anyone's concern or the point of this thread to be honest. I dont need anyone telling me about birth control as you don't know my past with it.
The point I'm making is we have had a lot of stress and grief the past year.
Can I ask why your a big fat no to weed?[/quote]
because I require higher standards in my life , my children's lives and in a partner .

I think you should stay where you are until you are sure that this relationship is what you want. Which you aren't at the moment.

Only having one bedroom is no reason to make the decision.

You and your little one would be fine in your one-bedroom for a while yet. I wouldn't sell up and lose your security to be with a man like this.

I’d dump for the drug taking alone. Especially when he isn’t even nice to you afterwards. What are the positives about him?