Do I tell my pregnant friend I’m pregnant too?

[MumOfScience]

A different relationship to those normally posted here but a massively important one too! My friend told me a month ago that she’s pregnant with her first. Thing is, unbeknownst to me, I was JUST pregnant with my first at the same time! She will be about a trimester ahead of me. I want to tell her so it’s not weird but I’m also scared to say anything before my scan in case something is wrong. What should I do hive mind? Is it ok to wait till my scan is done to say anything? And after that how the heck do I tell her without her feeling I’m stealing her thunder? I didn’t know she was trying too…

How are you stealing her thunder any more than she is stealing yours?

If you want to wait until after the first scan then do so.

Yes, I would wait until after your scan, but why on earth do you think that getting pregnant is "stealing her thunder"?

Is nobody else allowed to have a baby just because she is?

You say that you didn't know she was trying. Why would you? That should be a private thing between two adults.

Did you tell everyone you know that you were "trying"?

Wait until your scan but the whole concept of ‘stealing her thunder’ is bizarre, nobody can stop anyone else from being pregnant at the same time - if you’re friends surely you’ll both just be happy for each other?

Oh god you’re way overthinking it. My best friend is pregnant at six weeks ahead of me. It’s nice. We can chat about it and stuff. Never would have occurred to either of us to be anything but pleased for the other

I don't understand the problem. Isn't it nice that you'll be pregnant at the same time and have children close together in age?

When you try to apply for a school place you will realise that hundreds of people on your doorstep were pregnant at the same time.

Why on earth wouldn't you? 🙄

Thanks all! We live in different countries and have a small friendship group with very few people who have children in it. You’re right defo overthinking - I’m sure she’ll just be happy for me. I was bloody thrilled for her 😊

Eh? Why wouldn't you? I have a friend who's due a month before me - she told me and our mutual friends over WhatsApp after her first scan and I did the same after mine... we were delighted for each other, because we're friends...

Oh, forgot to add - congratulations OP!

@MumOfScience

Thanks all! We live in different countries and have a small friendship group with very few people who have children in it. You’re right defo overthinking - I’m sure she’ll just be happy for me. I was bloody thrilled for her 😊

Congratulations on your pregnancy 🎉

Get your scan, make sure all is well then share your very happy news 🌸🎈🧸

Congratulations!

I went by the “would you want support from them if things went wrong?” Rule for telling people. Generally for me the answer was no, but my husband wanted to tell two close friends, and then his parents, and I told two close friends too (as I worried it’d get back to them otherwise!) at 10 weeks or so.

Tell her when it feels right to you. I’d love to be pregnant at the same time as a friend 🙂

Just tell her when you'd have told her if she wasn't pregnant. If she has a tantrum about it then she's a crap friend.

My friend told me in similar circumstances. She had to tell me because I was due to see the midwife and she was worried she'd bump into me as she had a appointment too. I kept it to myself. It's lovely going through it together. But it's perfectly fine to wait until your scan. After that you'll be able to tell her and she's bound to be delighted. Congratulations

I was absolutely thrilled when I found out my friend was also pregnant. We were due about 5 weeks apart. Someone to go through it with and babies could be good friends to one another as they grew up potentially.

Don't worry about stealing thunder. I'm guessing she's not 14 and also that she's not having a baby for attention!

What do you feel you want to do? I'd tell her if it was me but it just depends on wether you'd mind her knowing if your pregnancy doesn't work out.

You're not stealing anyone's thunder you're pregnant. It's not like you got pregnant to undermine her pregnancy. You're over thinking it. But wait until after your scan.

Congratulations. This is lovely you're pregnant together.
You're not stealing her thunder, there's no such thing when it comes to this. It will be great having your best friend go through the newborn phase at the same time.
If you would rather wait until your scan then wait until then, but you tell her any time you feel is right
This is your special news too.

She’ll be so relieved there is someone else going through what she is!!! So enjoy OP
Tel her and be happy xx

Me and one of my best friends have been pregnant at the same time twice and we both enjoyed going though our pregnancies together, there wasn’t the slightest bad feeling about it. In fact I was really disappointed that she didn’t have a 3rd when I did!

Personally would have loved to have had a friend pregnant at the same time as me. Would have been amazing to have a mummy friend to chat to. Especially with the first one.

Me an my best friend have 2 kids each an their all A month apart. (Coincidence!!)
It's great having a friend to talk to , moan to etc !!! Never had these feelings what do ever.