Does love that has gone away ever come back?

[Yessiricanboogie50]

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, I am 28.

In 2017/2018 he really hurt me. He cheated on me and paid for sex, he paid for webcam sex and he also paid for a subscription to receive dirty Snapchat’s (not only fans).

At the time of me finding out (late 2017) we had a newborn baby (our second child) and I didn’t feel like I could physically leave as I was struggling with our children whenever I was on my own.

Since then I feel like my love for him, quite understandably is basically gone. Don’t get me wrong there is a part of me that does love him, but maybe only 10% still there?

Does love ever come back? Am I wasting my time?

@QuentinBunbury there is definitely shame, none of my family/friends know about anything and I feel the minute I do speak to someone about it I’m going to break down and I just hate getting upset in front of anyone

My husband likes a drink maybe twice a week and comes to bed late, I always think he’s calming or speaking to someone online and you are right it’s no way to live at all

Hi OP, i stayed for two years after finding out about similar with my exH. It did not work for me. I was turning into a wreck, i was sick with worry every day wondering each time he came home late, travelled for work or stayed up late.

I left because I was making myself sick by staying and knowing i deserved better. He was my friend, lover and husband, and what he did broke me in place I never knew I existed. I was in therapy for over a year. Even then, with my current husband these creep back...but I am open with him and he is open with me and insists I tell him if something is bothering me.

I am not broken but parts of me will never know the innocent complete love I was once in. I actually think the longer you stay and try to deal with it or 'build' trust back, the worse off you will be. It is not for everyone and it should not be asked of us.....as they say never put in more than you can afford to lose.

@BonneMaman77 I am the same, I’m abit of a wreck to be honest. Whenever I do bring up to him that I need to speak about the past (I rarely do this, maybe once every 12-18 when going through a rough time) because I don’t feel as if he has been honest with me about the details he tells me I’m digging and that it’s like I want to end things, which deep down I do but I’m scared to admit it

Therapy is definitely something I am looking into at the moment too. If I was to ever meet anyone else which I would be in no rush to do, I would ruin it by expecting the same from them

I’m glad you have managed to move on, hearing success stories instead of horror stories are reassuring