Does my husband still want to be with us!!

[Maze4]

6 weeks ago my husband left for India to visit his parents ( we are in UK) his father tested positive for coronavirus but has made a full recovery.. Now he just sits there every day getting everything done for him.. I feel that my husband has become very distant and the "I love yous " and miss yous " have stopped.. I am home alone with our 4 children, the youngest being 1 and yes its hard work on my own.. if I mention him coming home he gets angry and says I am being the selfish one in all this.. when he eventually books his flights he still has to quarantine for 11 nights in a hotel before he can come home... I am absolutely exhausted and he is so distant with me.. he has definitely changed since being there.. Aibu asking him to come home??

Do you honestly have to ask if you're being unreasonable? What the fuck have I just read? He would be served with divorce papers so damn fast his eyeballs would spin! Tell that SOB he better bring his ass hone or else!

Oooft I agree

I can't believe he's gone to India in the first place, given the situation.

@Toddlerteaplease

I can't believe he's gone to India in the first place, given the situation.

yes I did wonder about this decision tbh

I can understand him in certain circumstances traveling to see his parents, if they are elderly, ill or vulnerable with no other support. But it sounds now like he's abandoned you practically and emotionally. Unless there's a compelling reason for him to now remain I'd be expecting him back now. Either via a quarantine hotel, or spending 10 days in a 3rd amber country to save the cost of a hotel.

People do sometimes travel without their partners to visit their parents/family. It's not that weird. It is weird that he has stayed for 6 weeks and after his father has recovered.

It's not acceptable for him to stay there at this point. I'm not sure how much longer you should wait... But yeah at some point divorce is the only option left.

His Dad was really sick to the point they thought he wasn't going to make it... that's why he went.. I didn't want him to go due to the circumstances in India but I couldn't stop him.. I am sick of asking him to come home as it just ends up in an argument.. and the thought of being a single mum of 4 scares the life out of me.. but the more he's there I actually see how little we mean to him.

Does he have a job he needs to come back to?
Don’t be accusing, but do ask him in a calm way ‘are you coming back?’
If not, I need to plan a life for me and DC’.
Then get on with planning a life without him.
The guilt of not living close to family when they needed him will be huge. He may be struggling to leave.

He is still working whilst in India, he just needed to take his laptop with him so thats not a problem.. I have asked him when he is coming back and alls he says to me is soon , when is soon I ask but he never answers me.. I do think he is struggling to leave his parents, but his life is here along with myself and 4 children..my 3 Yr old daughter cries for him on the phone every day but it just doesn't seem to bother him at all ..

Does he not need to get home for work? What readon does he give for needing to stay in India?

@Snakebyte

Does he not need to get home for work? What readon does he give for needing to stay in India?

As long as he has his laptop he can work so that's not a problem.. he says he just wants to make sure his father is OK even though he was given the all clear from a doctor 3 weeks ago..

Did he grow up in India? I imagine it feels like a complete break from family responsibilities so a mini holiday.

You only have a few choices, wait for him to decide to return or give him a deadline that means you will file for divorce once it's passed.

Do you get on with his family?

He's not coming back OP.. I'd seem legal advice 🌸