I've posted on here about my relationship several times before.
It's clear my partner is emotionally abusive and a gas lighter. He blames me for everything, ruining his life by only wanting one child with him. He does little around the house or to help with DD. He makes me feel worthless and twists everything I say and everything I do. His life is full of hobbies which 'he deserves' but I have to go running when my daughter is asleep to avoid him lording it over me that he's babysat for an hour. He doesn't speak to my family, says I'm depressing and addicted to drugs (he's referring to ADs I take).
I've tried all sorts. Suggested counselling. He admitted it wouldn't work for him because it won't 'change how I am' 🙄 We've had filthy rows which DD has witnessed and my neighbours sometimes text me to see if I'm ok as they've heard shouting.
I need to LTB. We've talked about splitting, but he will never leave, he's told me I have to go. I am in quite an undesirable position; my parents gave us a lot of money, (sadly/foolishly unprotected) for the house. They are very money orientated people but they know my partner is manipulative and twists things and don't want him running off with it not leaving me a penny, so they've told me to stay put. DB is an addict about to go to rehab and constantly worrying them so I don't want to add even more to their problems.
Short of winning the lottery I'm stuck here until DF passes away (DM is softer and wouldn't fight me for money, I'm aware how horrible this sounds by the way) or DD is an adult, 15 years away.
Some days are better than others, some are ok-ish, others almost unbearable. He's the kind of person who has lots of acquaintances and people think he's lovely on the surface, they'd have no idea.
Since our last row we've basically got on with our own thing saying little to each other. It suits me fine, it's better than the arguing.
How do I live with this? How do you cope with an emotionally abusive partner if you can't leave for now? Has anyone been there?
Partner wants me to give up work but I'm clinging on to my job for dear life. I take DD out of the way so he can work on my days off and I don't argue with him doing his hobbies at the weekend. I sometimes sleep on the sofa. I'm close to his family especially MIL (even though she's hard work too) but they don't know a lot of this, I try not to tell my parents everything and my friends/colleagues have no real idea. Thank God for mumsnet!
Very aware how sad and pathetic I sound by the way. You never think you'll be in this position until you are.
Thanks for reading 