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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I bit the bullet

4 replies

xoOceanBlue · 17/06/2021 20:47

I was able to break up with partner a week ago and asked him to move out. After years of lack of effort, job aspirations, negative behaviour and foul attitude towards me. I have that feeling he doesn't take me seriously. I made it very clear i dont want to be with him. We have 2 children together so he has to see them. But he still calls whenever he's in the mood then is horrible because I 'ignore' him. He constantly texts me with kisses, still calls me pet names. Asks for hugs, wants to plan days together 'what do you want to do later or on days off'. On days I work late he moans that he's the babysitter. I also split because I felt smothered by him and I still do! He may have a new job pending and plans to win me back in a few weeks with a fancy date or gift. How the hell do I get my point across even though I have made it clear? It's hard because we have children together I can't go no contact for sake of them. I've rejected all advances put he still persists, I feel like we haven't broke up at all!

OP posts:
EnfieldRes · 17/06/2021 20:52

Well done.
Time will probably be the only thing that proves your point.
When you don't go back to him after days/weeks/months.

In the meantime, I'd probably get a new phone an number and just use your old phone/number for him. And not tell him. So you don't actually need to see his messages pop up and calls. Only need to look if it's relevant to child care or when he has the kids in case of emergency. No reason for chit chat communication any more.

QueenBee52 · 18/06/2021 04:14

Good on you OP 🌸

Stop responding to him regarding anything other than the Children.

You do not need to respond to anything.

category12 · 18/06/2021 06:20

Broken record technique -

Him- what are we doing this weekend?
You- nothing together, we've broken up

Him - can I have a hug?
You - no, we've broken up

Him - I'm just a babysitter! You - no, you're co-parenting your children because we've broken up.

Has he actually moved out?

You're not obliged to respond to his calls or texts. Only respond to ones about practical matters and the kids.

66babe · 18/06/2021 06:24

Well done
As everyone has already said .. be consistent ... no mixed messages
Stay strong ! It may get a little bit worse before it gets better but it will eventually- you and the children will be so much happier on your own
Good luck 💐

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