Flaked on again. Should I send a snippy message?

[Heidi3333]

Hi ladies.
Not sure what to do.
I've been in touch with a guy from a dating site for about 2 months. There's been lots of chatting on line and 2 dates. We were scheduled to have our third date tonight but he went cold on me at the beginning of the week and when I messaged him yesterday he said he had food poisoning and then didn't reply to a further message I sent him. I haven't heard from him since.

Early on - before we went in our first date - we had organised a video chat but he never answered when I called him twice!

I thought we had a good thing going and he seemed smitten with me at times. He was the one asking for the dates! I never asked him once but did show my interest in other ways.

I was upset when I realised I'd been 'dumped'. I'm not so bothered now and sort of me just wants to leave it, the other part wants to call him out over his behaviour 😡.

I no longer want to see him as he's far to flakey for me and doesn't seem to know what he wants but I don't think guys should be let off for treating women like this. I'm tempted to send him a message tomorrow along the lines of 'thanks for flaming on me again. What a charming guy you turned out to be'.

Or would that show that I care too much?

Thanks for any advice!

You need to join this thread, @Heidi3333.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4270631-Dating-Thread-206-picking-up-tradesmen-aswell-as-dates

@GentlemanJay
Your mum gave you GREAT advice.
Saves a lot of time.

I say block him, as you may be tempted to reply to a text or answer his calls. And it keeps you from looking at your phone "hoping" to hear from him.

@sunnyzweibrucken

I say block him, as you may be tempted to reply to a text or answer his calls. And it keeps you from looking at your phone "hoping" to hear from him.

^ agree with this. Plus if he’s at a look end he may well message you and then do this again. You deserve better.

Don't message him but don't block, don't give him the satisfaction that you care enough, if he messages again, read and ignore.

Thanks for the replies

I've unmatched him off the dating site but I'm not going to block him on WhatsApp (how we normally chatted) as I'd like the opportunity to ignore him if he ever gets back to me 🤣.

He was 15 years younger than me. I'm 45. He needs to grow up.

Blocking sends a much better message than just trying to ignore him.

The best satisfaction is to not reply. It sends the message that you're not bothered about their shitty attitude and you're not going to indulge it either.

You're not a priority for him so just move on.

You texting will show you are bothered and give him an ego boost. Don't give him that.

I wouldn't do a thing. No contacting, no blocking, no response. Ignore him, he's worth too little to warrant a reaction. He'll see through a "who's this?" message.

I'm not sure what he's done wrong. He's 30, got food poisoning and you're just someone he's met twice...it seems like he's much more causal about it all than you'd like.

I agree he's not that fussed and probably dating multiple people until he finds someone he clicks with.

Not the one for you.

I’m another vote for total SILENCE. It’s far more enigmatic. The trouble with a snippy message is that he will tell himself you are high maintenance/psycho/etc. Blocking would be OK but I still think you are right to unmatch but not block on WhatsApp. Then if he gives it any thought he won’t know if you are bothered or not.
It’s almost certain he will pop up again and then would be the time to ignore or tell him you moved on when you didn’t hear from him.
Though I think you probably should have run for the hills from someone who seemed smitten after only meeting you twice 🚨

As tempting as it is, absolutely go with the silence option otherwise you will feel worse!

I couldn't unmatch him on Badoo so I blocked him instead. I haven't blocked him on WhatsApp so I can ignore any messages should be so deem me worthy of future contact!