Online dating for a total newbie:help!

[Shurl]

I'm hoping for someone to talk some sense into me when it comes to OLD. I'm a total newbie struggling with the expectations and etiquette.

I signed up to Bumble a couple of weeks ago and got chatting to a some guys. Most have fizzled out, but there is a few who I have good conversations with. One asked me on a date last weekend, which was good fun and there was obvious mutual chemistry. We are going on a second date soon and have been messaging daily since.

Meanwhile, one of the other guys I have had good conversation with has also asked me on a first date. I want to go, but I feel a bit weird about potentially dating two guys at once. My head says don't worry about it, they are definitely doing the same, this is how it works isn't it?

Also, how do you avoid the "sweet shop" thing, where perhaps the next is better? A date or two is never going to be enough to know if someone is right for you, but surely you need to decide to take a punt sometime.

I think it's absolutely fine to go on early dates with a couple of ppl at the same time.

I'd say only about one in three people I date even make it to date two anyway.

Go for it, enjoy yourself.

I find it naturally limits itself due to time and effort constraints.

Eg: I dont want to have to travel into the city for a date more than twice per week tbh. So two men, one date each is plenty for me. Then if I find theres one that I'm actually 'excited' to see again then he is a keeper.

Very rarely will you find that both will make it to date fourish tbh.

OK thanks. Have just accepted a date from the second guy. I almost hope that one of the dates is a dud, I don't know how to juggle two!

Yup, normal to be chatting to a few at once. I've had so many dates where I haven't fancied them/they didn't fancy me/they're not ready for a relationship/I'm not ready for a relationship/they don't look like their photos/they're boring in real life/we didn't click/they didn't turn up/they disappeared before date happened, that now I just go on as many as I like.
It's impossible to avoid the sweet shop thing, because for me, my favourite bit every time is that first few hours of (decent) chat. There's almost too many men on old to get a proper relationship from it!

I’ve only had 2 first dates but we mutually felt neither were second date material. Then I was just accepting a date from someone else who had written me great, detailed messages when he suddenly blocked me while I was replying to accept! I guess what I’m saying is that OLD often doesn’t work out so fine to approach it in that spirit.

My advice if you're looking for a relationship rather than just a good time is try a paid for app rather than bumble or tinder, tbh.

@Monsteraobliqua

My advice if you're looking for a relationship rather than just a good time is try a paid for app rather than bumble or tinder, tbh.

I found paid sites sermed to have a lot of narcissists and oddballs. There are worse things than men who are only looking to get a leg over. And tinder is very mixed in what people are looking for these days anyway.

Seemed

OP for your own self esteem I would quit the dating sites while you're ahead. I'm only half joking...