He doesn’t need me...

[Gal1211]

I have heard this from my husband a number of times now and this is really bothering me. He told me these exact words: “I’ve never needed you. This is never going to change. I’ve never needed anyone really”. He added he wants me and wants us to be together but he doesn’t need me. We have a son who is almost 2 years old. Hubby added he cares for the family and wants us to stay together but he doesn’t need me. I feel really confused...we all need other people in our lives....this feels very hurtful. I’m upset after hearing this from him again. Hope you can share your thoughts on this....

My ex wanted me to move in with him so that I could help him out financially. That made me feel like he just NEEDED me for money not that he WANTED to be with me and see me every day. I’d rather someone to simply want to be with me than need me. I also feel like needing someone in some sense is clingy/needy/controlling at times.

It all depends on the context. Could well be a self preservation affirmation statement he is making to himself, or it could be dismissive statement about your relationship.

It’s good to be independent and self sufficient- own interests and hobbies for example. But when you become part of a partnership and have children, lives intertwine.

You don’t ‘need’ each other as such, but it’s always good to know you can can depend on each other.

Tbh I've said this to my husband before. I didn't mean it in a horrible way, I meant it as I don't need him financially, physically and mentally but I want him as my partner and for us to be together through the tough times.