When you hear I love you (for the first time)

[saltncheese]

I've been seeing someone for 6 months quite casually but I think we are exclusive (we have both said we are).
He told me he loved me last night, and I didn't know what to do/say so I pretended I was asleep (we were cuddled up trying to get to asleep).

Is it too soon to say the L word? I've been hurt before by future fakers so I'm really wary of being hurt like that again and opening myself up to the idea of love and then getting dumped (this is a fairly recent thing, since I've started OLD)

There is no 'too soon' really. I mean, there's no rule book. My now DH and I said it after less than a week! Crazy looking back but we meant it!

Do you love him?

6 days would be too soon but not 6 months

If you love him, say it.

And if you don't love him, don't say it.

It's not really about whether it's too soon or not (I wouldn't think 6 months was too soon) but about whether it's true for you.

Him saying he loves you after 6 months isn't going to be future faking. Not if he's waited until he thinks you might be asleep to say it!

I once read something like quote below as a response ,thought it was helpful and honest .

" Thank you for loving me /saying that .I need time to catch up "

I think 6 months is on the cusp of too soon. Personally I think at 6 months every relationship I've been in has still been just a bit of fun and company territory. But I wouldn't necessarily freak out if I heard it at 6 months from a partner.

Dont feel pressured to say it back though or let it rush your feelings for them. Quite a lot of toxic sorts rush intimacy by pretending to be more into you than they actually are in order to get you to drop your guard with them and trust them.

Not that that's what's happening of course. But I think before 18 months i would take any I love yous with a pinch of salt. Maybe take it as a compliment and think nothing else of it.

If they push you for a response I would say 'I'm glad you are happy being with me and I really enjoy spending time with you to but I dont believe at 6 months in I know you well enough to be in love with you. It takes a long time to truly know someone. But what I've seen so far is great and I cant wait to grow to love you'.

Nothing in your post suggests you love him right now. And if you don’t, don’t say it it’s as simple as that. You will either get there or you won’t, but you shouldn’t say it back if you don’t feel it.