Anyone else just not bother to make friends?

[BettyBurntBuns]

I have crippling self esteem issues and not even bothering to help myself.

Not sure what to do. I’m 40.

I have trouble with it. Have my entire life. The friends I have tend to be the ones who made the running and insinuated themselves into my life (in good ways).

Perhaps you're making a first step here, recognising your low self esteem and recognising that it's paralysing you.

Have you the option of therapy?

What do you think is at the root of your low self esteem?

Maybe you could start with doing work on reducing the negative self talk and starting to change your own view of yourself?

I mean, you have another 40 years ahead of you, give or take - how do you want to spend them?

There's no magic wand for these things unfortunately, but you can make progress with it.

With me, it's knowing who to trust, seems many slithern type people these days, always keep up.your guard.

I’ve had so many bad experiences with so called friends in the past that I can’t do it anymore.

I made a few good acquaintances where I used to live. Moved 200 miles away 18 months ago. Kept in touch on Facebook. I ditched Facebook about 6 months ago because I realised that people were only one tested if I posted something funny.

Before I left I messaged the people I’d met with my number saying I’d love to keep in touch with them. They all said yes, I’ve got your number now, let’s keep in touch.

Never heard a thing from any of them.

Friendships are tough. I have children with Sen and in an area where services aren’t great so it’s tough to meet anyone. My children found any activities a struggle so it was just them and me at the park mostly. Do you feel lonely?

@category12

I have trouble with it. Have my entire life. The friends I have tend to be the ones who made the running and insinuated themselves into my life (in good ways).

Perhaps you're making a first step here, recognising your low self esteem and recognising that it's paralysing you.

Have you the option of therapy?

What do you think is at the root of your low self esteem?

Maybe you could start with doing work on reducing the negative self talk and starting to change your own view of yourself?

Therpahy isn’t an option, been refused

I would highly recommend this book, @BettyBurntBuns:

www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Low-Self-Esteem-2nd-behavioural/dp/1472119290?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It’s cheaper here: www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/melanie-fennell/overcoming-low-self-esteem/9781854877253

And there’s a workbook to go with it.