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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can I have a hand hold please?

2 replies

FairFuming · 16/06/2021 06:56

I posted before about my situation and why I'm leaving the father of my kids. We had to leave quickly and stay with my parents when he started screaming and shouting infront of the kids, however my mother got unwell and was really struggling to cope with two kids under 5 in her home so we had to move back to the family home until we can get into a rental flat I've found for us.
The kids have loved it as hes been more attentive to them then he has been in years but I'm going bonkers.

He keeps telling me he's "trying", after years or hardly even being home before 9pm he's suddenly home.not long after 5 every night he bought me ridiculous expensive flowers keeps trying to get me to have a bath and a glass of wine every night even though I normally only drink a glass every week or so, he's telling me to buy this and that for myself and getting upset when I organise a part of the house as he has figured out this is because we are leaving.

He's constantly trying to touch, hug or kiss me and acting like a the victim of all of this when I refuse.
He comes into my bed in the middle of the night even though he agreed to sleep in the spare room.
Lastnight he kept me awake until after 1am alternating between sobbing and begging me not to leave and then telling me I was going to ruin our children's life's by leaving, he's going to kill himself if I leave, he bought me this or that but apparently lost it, telling me I can't leave because I'm not strong enough. Then woke me just after 5 by coming into my bed and trying to get a cuddle.

I hate it! Living here is awful and I dread him coming home every night pretending that he's this great dad and great partner.
We have broken up, he has put almost 0 effort into the relationship for so long before we split and doesn't seem to see how it just highlights how crap the relationship had gotten. I haven't told him.about the flat yet as I know he will get very nasty when he finds out we actually have somewhere to go.

Please tell me it gets better then this!?
Why can't he just respect my boundaries and be a decent human being!?

OP posts:
princesslarmadrama · 16/06/2021 07:00

It definitely does get better once you are in your own space. Don't get me wrong you will go through a list of emotions but you can decide if you don't want to listen or speak to your ex. Having breathing space will be the best for you. How long until you can move in?

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 16/06/2021 07:12

As long as the deposit scheme works out I can move at the start of next month, my parents have offered me the deposit money as a loan but I know it would take a long time to pay it back so I'm hesitant to take it.

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