Crush with three year age gap, is it weird?

[celiagracie]

I started a new job at a pool a few weeks ago and I’m really into this guy. We both work a lot so I see him usually 4-5 days a week. He’s so nice and it’s rare that I ever have an interest in anyone so when I do my feelings are usually pretty strong. Only problem is he’s 19 and I’m 16. The age of consent laws in my state are 16 so it’s not the legal part I’m concerned about anyways, just what other people would think of it or what any other 19 year olds reading this think, plus I’m not interested in a sexual relationship anyways. I’ve thought a lot about the age gap too and I don’t think 3 years is that bad, also coming from someone who has been manipulated and controlled in past relationships I’m very careful with who I talk to and know the signs of a toxic relationship when I see one so I’m not worried about him taking advantage of me either. Plus, I don’t even know if he’s interested in me at all or if he even knows that I’m 16. The only reason I know that he’s 19 is because I googled him. I guess I’m looking for advice on the whole situation, what people think of the age gap, or if anyone knows how to get someone else to become interested in you. I’m just really hoping this could work out.

If you're 16 and have already been controlled and manipulated in past relationships then I'd suggest you steer well clear of boyfriend's until you've got a better idea of what is healthy and not.

Plus, a 19 year old is going to want a sexual relationship. Sex is pretty much the only reason 19 year old lads want a relationship.

As someone who had the same age gap as you at that age in multiple relationships, and now as a mother I would say it's too big a difference. I know that it might not feel like it, but the difference between a 16 year old and a 19 year old is massive, when you are older 3 years would be nothing. If a 19 year old man was interested in a 16 year old girl I would see that as a massive red flag. Why is he not able to find someone his own age? It's fun to have crushes but I would leave it at that

3 years is nothing but I think you should concentrate on being 16 ... study ! Make lasting friendships and memories to shape you into adulthood
Forget boys and especially the ones who have treated you badly - reset your filters and boundaries - maybe get some therapy for what you've been through to rid your self of that hurt .. what you don't want is for that to shape your expectations of a relationship
Then when you reach the same age .. have fun, enjoy life
Boys are the last thing you need