I really don't like the way my Husband speaks to my son!

[JC2021]

Husband seems to (always) have a short fuse for our son, he doesn't swear nor shout but it's his direct and harsh sounding tone.. drives me up the wall.. my son picks up on it too..

he gets very defensive if ever I bring it to him, almost like we argue about it time again..

he was brought up the same way, harsh/slightly controlled/hover parenting and i guess is projecting or doing the same.. so not healthy.. he can't see it and thinks he is showing our son 'strong leadership' as apparently that's what he needs at 2 and half..

I’ve always hated the way DH spoke to DS too.
When DS was a few years old I told DH if he didn’t change we would split up. He changed, for a little while, couldn’t keep it up -a cycle we endlessly repeated.
Stupidly I wasn’t strong enough to leave.
DS, now a teen, speaks like DH does whenever he is displeased, which displeases DH, so they then are locked in an endless battle. I hope DS never has children so he doesn’t go on to repeat the cycle.

"Strong leadership" at 2 and a half??

What an arse your dh is...

@ButItRingsAndIRise it's not too late to change things - teen brains are incredibly plastic. But your DH needs to be willing to do the work first

JC2021

I do not like the way your husband speaks to you either. Now your son is further coming in for the same old crud from his father.

You have a choice re this man, your son does not. He cannot afford to be spoken to the self same way at 3, 5 or 7 years of age.

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?. Your husband will not change, this is who he is and I dare say is someone not all that dissimilar to your own mother (a woman who made you a scapegoat for all her inherent ills).

to be honest, i don't quite know where to begin in terms of leaving/divorcing.. i need to contact an advice line..

i am guessing we would co-parent our parent our son, although i would want him with me more days than not.. my husband gets too stressed/anxious with kids..

Would suggest you give the Rights of Women a call

My husband is the the same with our eldest DD, would never dare speak to the youngest DD like that and there's only a year between them! Eldest is like a carbon copy of him as a child (in female form), I think that's why he's harsher on her, the youngest is much more complaint/easy going. I've brought it up more than once and he's definitely stopped being so obvious but there's still an edge