Am I asexual?

[Misunderstud]

Although Ive been married, got 3 kids and had multiple parnters with whom ive had sex with ive never actually enjoyed or initiated any of the sex. I find men attractive. But I dont desire to have sex with them. I could quite happily never have sex again. Im single and loving it! Ive never initiated any sex but never said no, just gone through with it to make partner happy or to have my children. I loved my partners at the time, I have just never been interested in sex. Ever. Does this make me asexual?

I would say so. If you don't want sex with men (and I'm assuming you don't want sex with women either?) then I'd say you're asexual.

Do you mean you find men more aesthetically attractive rather than sexually?

I suppose yeah, but whats the difference really?

Well, i am asexual and i can tell when people are aesthetically attractive, but i would never want sex with them.

Appreciating someones looks is different than sexual attraction (whatever that is, never felt it, so wouldn’t know).

I was just checking what you meant by finding men attractive.

MN is not the best place when it comes to asexuality.

If you like to know more or ask questions there is AVEN and reddit has subredditsd asexual and asexuality.

But the baseline to asexuality is that you don’t feel sexually attracted to people.
It is up to you if you want to use the label.

@Misunderstud

I suppose yeah, but whats the difference really?

Aesthetically attractive- that person/animal/house/plant is well made and it pleases me to look at it

Sexually attractive- that person makes me feel wobbly and hollow with desire and I feel irresistibly compelled to get as physically close to them as I possibly can

You may just have a low libido - for some sex is not a priority especially after you have children -you can look at sex in a very different way after child birth - or you may just not have met someone that you have chemistry with

You don't need to label it, you are who you are.

Thank you for all your comments. I suppose you're right, I dont or shouldnt need to label it. I was just curious to know why I didnt like sex, so I googled amd asexuality is what came up.

Well, whether or not you want to use the label, congrats on discovering something new about yourself.

Like i said, there are places online with other asexuals (aces) if you’d like to talk about it!

The idea that we have an innate sexuality that is part of our identity is quite a modern idea. Previously it was just accepted most people had sexual desire for some group of people and some didn't. People might take part in different sexual behaviours but it didn't determine who they 'are'. I think things got much more complicated once the idea of having a sexual identity came into things...