It’s so unfair that abusers go unpunished!

[Letdown16]

I just want to say it’s so unfair how someone can abuse another, leave them with mental scares and an illness they will have forever and just walk away un-punished.

There is no revenge for a narcissist and I know it’s pointless wasting the energy but today at this moment it is just so unfair.
I have such a mountain to climb.

Completely agree. I'm five years in on the process of trying to help my DH recover from the sixteen years of physical and mental (not to mention financial and sexual) abuse he suffered from at the hands of his abuser/ex-wife.
It takes time, love and support and I hope you have these to help you recover.
We don't deal with abusers in this country properly and as PP's have said it's disgusting they get to carry on with their own lives scot free.

Another one here that struggles every day with the fact that abusive people totally get away with what they've done with no justice or comeuppance for it. Police and court systems are less than useless. They basically make rape and abuse legal as nothing ever happens to abusers. I also, like others here, have C-PTSD and have to deal with poor mental health for the rest of my life while these people go unpunished and have a wonderful life with people thinking they're great. It just rubs salt in the wounds and makes it harder to get over. People say 'oh well they probably arent happy'- yes they are! They got away with doing whatever they wanted to someone and probably feel totally vindicated. On to someone new and having a great old time.

All extremely validating comments.

It IS unfair. They DO get away with it Scott free largely. So-called friends are wilfully blind as to what he did. I too have PTSD and c-PTSD.

Police are useless.
Family Court is a state sanctioned license to abuse. With no recourse.
Dr's are better
Mental health system has been a national joke for decades

Unless you have been abused its extremely difficult to get one who hasn't to understand the trauma bond and how hard it is to get away from your abuser. I managed it. Took 7 attempts over a dozen years.

I'm now 6 years into recovery and 18 months after the family court circles of hell on earth. I almost died. No one cares. I daresay the narrative is that I'm unstable. Deluded. Yet another trauma to deal with; loss of reputation.

There is what I call, 'The Perception Deception' happening in our society. Its rude. Its 9it of control. Even if you aren't very empathic, it would take an utter fool not to see the incredible damage and monetary loss inflicted by those who have NPD. Its TRILLIONS.

All wars, all injustice, all abuse by people who are unaware of their NPD. Heck, just LOOK at The cabinet!

Prisons rammed with them. What about the legal profession? Judiciary. You name it. Dr's...oh yes them. Academia too. SMT in schools. No wonder we cannot get anywhere.

OP you are quite rightly beyond incandescent fuming. The path to inner peace if mind is letting the whole shower if shite go and ficus on your own, narc free future. It is entirely possible.

Just let it go.

Try this place, it will help. Hg Tudor will give you all the tools you need as you Get Out Stay Out (GOSO) and implement your No Contact (NC).

narcsite.com

*rude = real

Apologies for AC fails.

Maybe these set of YT bids will help.

Chrissy Teigan. A Very Sinking Narcassist. There's 7. Heres a link to No1 and you'll then be able to access them all in the sidebar.

@TVS19, I am going to check out those videos - I have been wondering about Chrissy Teigen. Her recent apology to people she sent bullying messages to reeks of the typical narcissist "I'm sorry (that people found out what I'm like behind closed doors)". Then on to the videos about Megan Markle!

There are a lot of Markle vids. All completely bang on the biscuits IMHO!

Good for you! It will give you a distraction as well as teaching you about NPD.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I have complex PTSD as a result of the abuse I suffered and I am expected to send him a fathers day card. I can't seem to find one that says fuck off and die.

Tesco had one that said "happy Father's Day to a dad who should be socially distanced from" (or something like that)

@TVS19

All extremely validating comments.

It IS unfair. They DO get away with it Scott free largely. So-called friends are wilfully blind as to what he did. I too have PTSD and c-PTSD.

Police are useless.
Family Court is a state sanctioned license to abuse. With no recourse.
Dr's are better
Mental health system has been a national joke for decades

Unless you have been abused its extremely difficult to get one who hasn't to understand the trauma bond and how hard it is to get away from your abuser. I managed it. Took 7 attempts over a dozen years.

I'm now 6 years into recovery and 18 months after the family court circles of hell on earth. I almost died. No one cares. I daresay the narrative is that I'm unstable. Deluded. Yet another trauma to deal with; loss of reputation.

There is what I call, 'The Perception Deception' happening in our society. Its rude. Its 9it of control. Even if you aren't very empathic, it would take an utter fool not to see the incredible damage and monetary loss inflicted by those who have NPD. Its TRILLIONS.

All wars, all injustice, all abuse by people who are unaware of their NPD. Heck, just LOOK at The cabinet!

Prisons rammed with them. What about the legal profession? Judiciary. You name it. Dr's...oh yes them. Academia too. SMT in schools. No wonder we cannot get anywhere.

OP you are quite rightly beyond incandescent fuming. The path to inner peace if mind is letting the whole shower if shite go and ficus on your own, narc free future. It is entirely possible.

Just let it go.

Try this place, it will help. Hg Tudor will give you all the tools you need as you Get Out Stay Out (GOSO) and implement your No Contact (NC).

narcsite.com

I think there was a study of NPD and the occupations that narcissists have. The occupations that contained the greatest proportion of narcissists were the legal profession and psychiatry. So "support from mental health services" would actually be very damaging if the mental health team is headed up by such a person.

There's some truth in the adage that psychiatrists are often madder than their patients. (I'm sure there are some wonderful ones too.)

@TurquoiseLemur

Agreed. I've had the greatest misfortune to have had to consult with three psychiatrists. Frankly, wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

Rampant narcs. God complexes. The works.

I daresay there are good ones out there but they are very few and very far between.

It's like asking a psychopath to set your own broken leg.

If more people understood how dangerous these people are, we would be continually asking for not only second, but third and fourth hand opinions.

But you can't. Not when you are mentally ill because at some points you are unable to have insight into your own behaviours, perceptions and attitudes. Because you are mentally ill.

That's why MH 'care' is the biggest con ever perpetrated on empathic society.

[quote TVS19]@TurquoiseLemur

Agreed. I've had the greatest misfortune to have had to consult with three psychiatrists. Frankly, wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

Rampant narcs. God complexes. The works.

I daresay there are good ones out there but they are very few and very far between.

It's like asking a psychopath to set your own broken leg.

If more people understood how dangerous these people are, we would be continually asking for not only second, but third and fourth hand opinions.

But you can't. Not when you are mentally ill because at some points you are unable to have insight into your own behaviours, perceptions and attitudes. Because you are mentally ill.

That's why MH 'care' is the biggest con ever perpetrated on empathic society.[/quote]
I hear you.

When I wrote that there are some wonderful psychiatrists, I was being tactful, tbh. On my own account I have met a few and I've also met a few when a family member was in crisis. . . and the best of them were, to put it mildly, odd. Not clued up. Full of platitudes. A particular criticism I have (and psychiatry as a discipline is guilty of this, not just individual people) is how domestic violence and domestic abuse seems beyond their radar. They don't acknowledge it, or they acknowledge it (sort of) but appear to totally understate its effects. There are a lot of patriarchal attitudes swilling round in there. (Unexamined, it seems. . . and isn't that the irony?!)

One example: When my family member was in crisis, they were at a physical distance, so my conversations with the shrink happened over the phone. He was saying how my relative seemed delusional. I asked what he meant by that and he said "Well, X was saying that the Catholic Church all over the world has been covering up child abuse and protecting the abusers." And I was thinking, "There has been very well publicized evidence of this, it has been a very visible part of the news cycle for at least 20 years. . .. and this psychiatrist isn't AWARE of it?" I put him right in as neutral a tone as I could muster. Baffled silence.

It's definitely the case that people who haven't had dealings with psychiatrists have no idea what they are like and how dangerous they can be. People in general just view them as they would other medical specialties, missing the glaring fact that psychiatry isn't (and never has been) scientific.