how to initiate a friendship with a guy i went on a date with

[lollipop65]

Hi!

I went on a date a few weeks ago with a guy I spoke to on tinder. We were texting a lot before the date.
We went on the date and I have honestly never laughed so much. We got on like a house on fire and it was so much fun. He then unfortunately sent a message to say I’m great and he had a really nice time, but he didn’t feel a romantic “spark”. He said I had a brilliant sense of humour and he loved my company. He wished me the best and since then we haven’t spoken.

I am thinking though, that I got on with this guy so well and he is so much up my street in terms of humour, interests etc. Just because it didn’t work romantically does it mean I can’t make a friend from it?? I feel like he would be such a fun guy to be good friends with, go for pints with etc. But how do I initiate a friendship now without being super awkward and when we haven’t messaged in about 2 weeks??

Bump :)

Could you just say what you've said here, acknowledge that you had a great time and were wondering would he like to meet up as friends? Suggest meeting over the next week or so, so it doesn't just fizzle and also be really explicit it's as friends so he doesn't think you're still hoping something will happen romantically when he's made himself clear in that respect. Hope it works out! I made a few nice friends on OLD!

How do you see the friendship working out in practise? Meeting up for drinks / coffee etc?

*"He then unfortunately sent a message to say I’m great and he had a really nice time, but he didn’t feel a romantic “spark”."
*
If you think it's unfortunate, are you hoping being friends will turn into more?
I had the same recently but I was the one who felt no spark, silly me took his offer of friendship but the way he carried on speaking to me, he definitely didn't have friendship on his mind, I had no choice but to block him which was sad as I liked him but he clearly wanted more than friendship.

I think it only works if you both genuinely don't fancy each other, even then how to go and explain to a future partner you have friends from dating them, it would put me off.

@seensome

*"He then unfortunately sent a message to say I’m great and he had a really nice time, but he didn’t feel a romantic “spark”." * If you think it's unfortunate, are you hoping being friends will turn into more? I had the same recently but I was the one who felt no spark, silly me took his offer of friendship but the way he carried on speaking to me, he definitely didn't have friendship on his mind, I had no choice but to block him which was sad as I liked him but he clearly wanted more than friendship.

I think it only works if you both genuinely don't fancy each other, even then how to go and explain to a future partner you have friends from dating them, it would put me off.

This.

It wouldn't be fair on you to continue being friends with him when he's already expressed that he doesn't want anything romantic, and it puts him in an awkward position as well.

If he felt same way — and enjoyed your company as much as you enjoyed his — he would have kept in touch.

If I were to text, how would I write it without sounding awkward hahah? Like “hi let’s be mates” hahaha I have no idea how to word it

And nah I’m not that bothered. I felt deflated after because I had so much fun but actually I’ve realised he’s not really my type anyway and I was more bothered about his personality

Oh god no

He doesn’t want to be your friend. He expressed no interest in staying in your life. He wished you the best, ffs. He didn’t even say “let’s just be friends!”.

I went on a date with a guy a few weeks ago, we got on really well, chatted non-stop for almost two hours, arranged to go on a second date but he realised he has a lot going on in his life (selling the marital home, divorce, training for work) and he doesn't have time right now. He said he wanted to stay in touch as friends and meet up as friends in the future. We tend to message most days still and have done since the day we met. I think if he hadn't suggested the friend thing and carried on messaging I would have not bothered.

I think it's fine to message him, ask if he fancies a drink as mates.

Why not. Life's too short.
How often as adults do we really get a good, friendly connection with someone. Rarely, I find. It's not easy making new pals.
He can turn you down or fob you off. But there's no harm in asking.