Staying in touch after breakup

[Malena77]

My LTR just ended (in a nutshell - I finally stopped believing in his future faking and promises of change). Ex wants to stay in contact (txts, calls) and stay friends. I’ve realised that though I miss him it actually doesn’t help me move on and just reignites the mixture of sadness, anger and grief over the time wasted on this relationship.
I’m thinking of going NC. What do others do when a relationship is over?

As I posted previously, block him on everthing, and that includes faceache and LinkedIn.

You weren't right for each other and you're moving on.

I don't think it's ever a good ideall, unless there's kids involved and it's to build a better environment for them.
Even if two people have zero interest in each other romantically, when they move onto a new relationship it could be hard for the new partner. If a friendship it built from it, you could risk losing that at some point. If one isn't over it, it'll make everything more difficult to see the person they love get on with their life while they're still holding out hope.

I would accept it's a relationship over.

idea I can't spell today

I had similar recently, just out of LTR and we said we would be friends as it ended amicably and seemed a shame not to be after so many years. But as time has passed since then I have realised it is so much easier for me to go NC, I don't want to be friends and we never will be. I'd rather not know what he's doing now, or who with. It's all part of the healing process, do what's right for you and if that's NC then it doesn't matter whether he wants to be friends or not

No, a clean cut heals much quicker. If you stay in touch, there a but if you that's still thinking about them and wondering what they're doing, if they've met anyone new, etc. It's best to cut all contact, deleted them off social media, etc.

No, cut contact. Relationships rarely end amicably enough to want to remain friends. And you’re not his friend. You don’t owe him anything, he’s just trying to make sure he’s not the bad guy.

I never stay in contact with my exes. They’re not my friends and we broke up for a reason, I don’t want or need to see them still.

As above, contact is about him, for him, until it suits HIM to move on.

Block on everything.

Thank you all for advice. It’s difficult when you still have feelings for someone but your head tells you it’s just prolonging the heartache. I feel exploited again.

I am in the same position - I was starting to heal as no contact and then he gets in contact asking to meet up as wanting to be friends. I still have feelings for him and feel I am being exploited or used because his new relationship is not going well. I am so confused as I find the whole 'block' 'cut contact' thing so hard as people come into our lives - we spend time with them, connect with them it seems cruel and heartless never to have contact with them again

I am in the same position - I was starting to heal as no contact and then he gets in contact asking to meet up as wanting to be friends. I still have feelings for him and feel I am being exploited or used because his new relationship is not going well. I am so confused as I find the whole 'block' 'cut contact' thing so hard as people come into our lives - we spend time with them, connect with them it seems cruel and heartless never to have contact with them again

You say it's cruel and heartless never to have contact with them again. Cruel to who? In the same post you say that you feel exploited and used by him so If anything, he's the cruel and heartless one for exploiting your good nature.

It's not cruel to look out for yourself and give yourself a chance to heal after the end of a relationship. If you keep in contact with someone you still have feelings with, you're just poking an open wound. Do no contact for yourself and stop putting his feelings above yours. The only way to get over someone ime is to cut them off completely. You can be 'friends' down the line when the romantic feelings are gone, although by that time, I suspect neither of you will bothered.

And let's be honest. Do you really want to be friends or are you hoping that he'll realise his mistake and want you back? Do yourself a favour and cut him off.