Fed up with making all the effort

[nolovelost]

Does anyone else feel like they get left behind? It's not something I'm prepared to bring up with people due to the fear of being thought of as an attention seeker!

I feel so lonely at times. I've been happily single for so long. It's strange because since the pandemic hit, not being able to do things made me want to do more in life. It's like I started to appreciate wanting to go out more, see people more.

I have met a few friends in the past couple of months which has been nice. I feel like I'm the one making the effort all the time or my offers get ignored.

I've made a new friend out walking the dog and she initiated chat about doing something but it's never really happened.

I've joined a meet up group but they're allmuch older than me.

It feels like I've changed my outlook on life (going from being a bit boring to feeling very sociable). Maybe I'm being unrealistic with expecting everyone wants the same as me?

I don't feel like I'm expecting too much really in being invited for a brew. All my friends have partners and don't seem to want to expand their life outside of this.

I'm fed up with online dating too!

Just needed a vent. I feel that normally I'm a positive friendly person but obviously something puts them off me?

Anyone relate?

It’s just about keeping looking and finding a group and or activity that feels more like your tribe. I promise they’re out there, we’re never as unique or alone as we think.

It's kind of you to reply, thank you. I've tried to find other social meet ups, I'll keep trying.

I know the feeling only too well and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Big hug.

Try to change your attitude to a more carefree go with the flow type and allow room for the unexpected as well.

Thank you. Maybe you're right to go more carefree and my expectations are too high! I have been totally like this up until recently and feel like I've changed since the pandemic! I just want to feel satisfied with life, like I was before.

Sometimes the more we want something the more it eludes us, and the moment we relax a bit about it, there it is!
It sounds a bit cliche, but it’s true. Stops us being pushy, or too uptight, or forgetful of having silly fun... when we’re in a really good state, people are drawn to us like magnets, and when we’re dissatisfied and trying to engineer situations, it has an opposite affect.
Put yourself in the right places, and then focus on having as much fun as you can, even if you feel it’s not your cup of tea... learning something new from someone that you didn’t know about before, asking questions and being curious... focusing on bringing meaning and value out of every encounter.

Finally, appreciating the small things and trying to be grateful for the gifts, small and big, each day provides. Not only is it all a solution to feeling more satisfied, but it makes one a deeper more interesting person... so when you meet those special people finally, you’ve had all of these experiences and different perspectives mixing with various people, and you’ll be more confident in certain ways and perhaps more humble in others, and pretty fascinating no doubt.

I would look up the Law of attraction if you haven’t already, I found it pretty life changing.

And you’re very welcome, my pleasure.

@TheWestWind thank you again.

Your last paragraph is all I've ever been until now. It doesn't help that with having certain medical conditions I can't do certain activities. I fancy swimming but someone said that I need to go somewhere where I see the same people regularly! Also thought about the cinema but the same with that I suppose. Maybe I should just do it anyway for my own enjoyment. Last year I went to the pub on my own for a meal, I enjoyed it and it was a big thing for me, and I suppose many wouldn't do that would they?

But yeah I do need to stop pushing myself and just do what I want, when I want. That way I'll hopefully meet friends naturally.

Going for a meal for yourself and enjoying it shows brilliant self confidence and willingness to get out there! I think other activities and meet ups would probably be easier and even more enjoyable than that. There are eating out groups if you enjoy eating out... is that the sort of thing you sent to?

Wishing you the best of health!

Have you tried bumble BFF? More younger women on that trying to meet other women to form friendships. Much like OLD lots of people won’t get back to you but you can meet some nice people.

@TheSecondAct thank you!

The Meet Up that I've joined, the people look and sound nice and I'll probably make the effort. They all look much older than me but I suppose it doesn't really matter, it'll get me out!

@Trisolaris I've just googled that, never knew it existed, I'll definitely have a look. Sounds brillant, thank you.

I've just registered and just trying to decide on the payment option!

Go for the free version - you don’t need to pay.