Tips for living alone for the first time!

[Couch2Potato]

Gooood evening all,

I'm recently single and for the first time in my life, I will soon be living alone in a three bedroom house (can't downsize, too long to explain but situation isn't changing.)

I'm highly sociable 26 yo, with family close by but due to Covid am working from home and I don't live in city.

I hate being alone so will try and join clubs and fill up my calendar but it's inevitable some times that's not possible!

Do you have any tips for someone living solo, perhaps cooking, feeling safe, evening entertainment or anything that I might have never thought off!

All comments welcome! TIA x

No advice OP but watching with interest. I hate living alone too (never have) and anticipating a time when my DS leaves home (single parent). I'm 50 and would happily house share to get around this.

Hi! I live alone. I'm not single now but I was for a while when I first moved in.
I found having things planned on certain days helped, such as swimming after work or seeing my family.
I batch cook and freeze meals on a Monday or a weekend.
In terms of being safe, having a routine helps to ensure I lock everything at night.
Having a few activities to get on with when you find yourself alone in the evenings helps. Things like a boxset, sewing or reading.
Good luck! It is loving having your own space and independence.

I absolutely love living alone! Get a dog or cat. Decorate exactly how you want - I’m going absolutely wild painting an abstract mural on my bedroom wall. Indulge yourself (coffee and croissants on a Sunday morning, Baileys in the bath, takeaway and your fave film) join local community groups on Facebook. Volunteer for a local cause. Talk to people! It helps that I have a dog but I’ve struck up conversations with randomers in the park many times.

I got a nest camera when I was living alone, helped me feel at ease.
I’d batch cook and freeze a lot so I didn’t waste as much cooking meals.
I used to go out with my friends at the weekends (pre-COVID)
I chucked myself further into my hobby of sewing and craft projects.
I did jobs on the house I could do that my ex would’ve probably done.
Went out for walks with my dog with a neighbour and explored the countryside around me.

Most of all enjoyed coming and going as I pleased not having to pass my plans by anyone and feeling very free and enjoying the peace and quiet.

I hid spare keys the first time I locked myself out...

Invest in good locks for doors and windows and security cameras if possible, nothing like just having a look at your phone to see what’s going on around your home, whether you’re in or not.

Don’t scrimp on quality food, easy to prepare ones if you dint like cooking, variety of vegetables to stick in the oven with a bit of seasoning. Fruit and nuts for snacking. It’s really imperative to keeping your spirits up.

Try not to drink alone, it’s a depressant.

Make friends with others who also live alone, they’re far more likely to be available to hang out with you, and are often motivated to do really interesting things to keep themselves entertained.

Don’t let your cleaning routines slip because you believe just one won’t make as much mess, this is a slippery slope and is not always easy to come back from once you’ve relaxed an existing routine.

Make sure you build relationships that are there for advice and comfort to help reduce any stress levels, because apparently solo living can drive these up a tad. Personally I find single life less stressful than partnered!

Most of all, enjoy it as much as you can while you can, the freedom is unbeatable!

Batch cook so you don't have to cook from scratch every night but you can enjoy home made food with minimal effort on the days you work or feel tired (to avoid eating junk). I found leaving a radio on in the house was good so when I came home it didn't feel empty. A cat is great, easy to look after but great company - the house doesn't feel as still. Never run down the kitchen cupboards to empty - always have "easy" food in like tinned soup, bread, milk eggs etc in case you feel unwell and don't leave the house for a few days while recovering. Get a house alarm so if you hear noises in the night, unless your alarm goes off theres nothing to worry about. Give a trusted friend or neighbour a spare key in case you lose yours. Tell your employer you live alone so they know if you don't turn up for work to check on you

It’s the best thing ever, honestly. You can do what you like and have your house exactly how you want it.
Batch cooking is a good tip. Also learning not to be ‘jumpy’ if you hear a noise etc. But other than that I don’t think you really need any advice other than just enjoy it!

Hi, I have lived alone my entire adult life and I would make the following recommendations:

Make your house your haven: decorate it according to your tastes and have lovely furnishings etc. that make you happy and content
Zone your house well so that you use all of the house on a regular basis. Don't spend all your time in one room-have different rooms for different activities.
This might not be for everyone but in terms of feeling safe in the house, I had a security system installed and I love it. Can turn it on and off with an app and have a control panel by my bed. It's a monitored system and it really makes me feel safe.
Value yourself-I know a few people who live alone who never cook or have nice treats at home because they think it's a waste for one person-don't think like that! Cook/order lovely food for yourself on a regular basis-you are important too.
Have at least one hobby that you can do from home.

Hope that helps. If I think of any more I'll add it later.

I’ve lived alone since I was 27 (I’m 40 now) and I can’t imagine ever sharing my space with anyone again. I LOVE it! I have a cat (11) and we’re best mates.
You will find your way and things you love to do. It’s great 😊

@something2say

I hid spare keys the first time I locked myself out...

Came here to say exactly this! Two sets of spares - one hidden and one with a trusted friend! That feeling when the door shuts behind you and you realise what you've done...

@Shayelle2009

I’ve lived alone since I was 27 (I’m 40 now) and I can’t imagine ever sharing my space with anyone again. I LOVE it! I have a cat (11) and we’re best mates. You will find your way and things you love to do. It’s great 😊

I couldn’t share my space with anyone either! As other people have said, enjoy making it your own. I’ve recently bought a flat & I’m having a whale of a time poking round charity & second hand shops. Also make sure you get out every day, even if it’s just popping out for a coffee.

Living alone is fabulous 99% of the time - but you do need to plan well for times when you're ill and have no one around to fuss over you.

It's a good idea to have some precooked food in the freezer, even if you generally enjoy the routine of cooking. You'll be glad of it in case of hangover or fever.

For the same reason have an electric kettle (or a fancy coffee machine) in or close to your bedroom. The kitchen can seem a long way away if you're feeling shaky.

Also, always have a well stocked First Aid box, as no one else will be running out for paracetamol or plasters when you need them.

Have guests to stay in your guest room as often as makes you happy. (This is very different to having a guest in your own room ...)

Regular grocery and veg box deliveries are a life saver. As a pp has said, arrange never to run completely out of food!

I love having my own space, but if you are more sociable then would you fancy renting out a room in the short term to (female) exchange students or something? Maybe weekdays only so you get some peace and quiet at the weekend? Or are you really rural?

I lived alone from age 20-25! I absolutely loved it! I do think some people enjoy their own company a lot more than others.

I worked full time and worked with a lovely team. I know you are working from home but I think I felt like i got a lot of my social interaction at work. I also went to the gym/outdoor fitness classes 4 evenings a week. And tbh by the time I was home/showered/had tea and gotten organised for work the next day it was pretty much bed time.

I also had a cat who was great company. At the weekends I did do a lot of socialising and normally went to the gym a Saturday morning.

Sunday's were my favourite day though. I normally chilled, did housework, batch cooked and watched a good box set.

I absolutely would love to live alone again

Honestly all I want to say is ENJOY!

I lived alone for years and loved it.

Ummmm you are actually safer living alone than with a male domestic partner so ignore the batshit advice about security cameras and more locks than is normal or whatever. That’s pure misogyny masquerading as concern. You are not unsafe.

“A room of one’s own” is one of the fundamentals of self actualisation as not just a woman but as a complete human being. It is time and space to grow, learn, change, and to spread those mental wings... realising your own power and creativity.

One of the world’s best kept secrets. Let its opportunities unfold for you.

All of the above and.....

Beware of potential cocklodgers!
No one falls in love faster than someone who needs a place to stay.....

Ah yes, for the longest time, I didn’t even mention living alone until I knew someone better... and was extremely careful about who I invited over.

Having your own space is fab.

If you really don't like it (see how you go for a while) maybe you could take in lodger(s)? But that can cause drama.

I’m a similar age and loving living alone for the first time in my life. It’s forced me to have to make a lot more effort to fulfil my need for socialising but I don’t think that’s a bad thing, I’ve made plenty of new friends this way.

It’s brilliant being able to say yes to any social event or invite people over on a whim without having to take someone else’s needs into account. I also love being able to make the space totally your own and not having to compromise on decor.

Things that have helped me are gym membership - it’s somewhere I can go out of the house when when I’ve got a spare evening, signing up to classes to try new things and making sure I plan activities/ seeing people each weekend and during the week in advance so that I’m not ever facing potentially several days in a row without seeing anyone. I think explaining to friends/ family/ colleagues that you’re worried about living alone is also helpful, I got so many offers of walks/ drinks which helped build a routine of seeing people.

I recommend also having food in the house to make a 10 minute dinner whether that’s from the freezer or something like a carbonara or salad. One of the few cons is not ever coming home to dinner.

@MissTrip82

Honestly all I want to say is ENJOY!

I lived alone for years and loved it.

Ummmm you are actually safer living alone than with a male domestic partner so ignore the batshit advice about security cameras and more locks than is normal or whatever. That’s pure misogyny masquerading as concern. You are not unsafe.

Well in the last few years both my neighbours on either side have been burgled, someone attempted to steal the lead off my roof, and the house at the end of the road was raided on more than one occasion due to drugs, so in my case it's not internalised misogyny but a very real need to have a visible security presence.

The OP may live in an area that is very different to mine, but if she does live in an inner city area like I do, then that would help to put her mind at ease.

I love each and every one of the comments, thank you so much! .
It feels like a lovely little community this thread!

I live relatively rural, there is a co-op and a post office but I'm only 20 minutes from the nearest town.

I do actually have a woofer! He's my bestie but worry about making so many plans that I'll feel guilty for not being with him! He's not allowed upstairs but feel that he'll make a good guard dog if I let him stay in the landing!

Honestly, thank you so much for your comments!

Have lived on my own for 16 years. This weekend I had my best friend to stay, we met for lunch with our other friends. During the week I have my brother visiting too. I do star shapes in my bed, I eat what I want, watch what I want. Redecorated over lockdown to what I wanted. I have a drum kit (electronic) in the conservatory that I pop on and play when I want, my own taste of music on when I want. 2 weeks ago I decided to have a duvet day, sat in bed loving it, watched my favourite movies and then ordered a take away to be delivered to my house! It was wonderful. I do have a partner who I see twice a week but thats enough for me. You will love living on your own, I promise!

Yes - following up comments above - be wary of, and firm with, anyone who attempts to restrict or curtail your decision making or arrangement of your life. Misogyny and internalised misogyny means both men and women may seek to make you believe your living alone life is less valuable than any other domestic structure. Men will assume you need and welcome their guidance on everything. Women will tell you you 'should' be going this or that, and you 'shouldn't' be doing whatever you're already enjoying! They may also decide that living alone means your interests and time can be subsumed into or sacrificed for theirs. "Oh, can you do ABC, you have so much more time!" Say no!

As said above - be extremely careful about men who attempt to move in by stealth - spending more and more time in your home and persuading you that it makes more sense for them not to leave ...