Long term single and therapist wants me to visualise the good things about a relationship, but I'm not sure

[KoreanStationery]

I'm just not sure if it will actually help or just make me more sad about getting older and older, still single.

I'm 28. I didn't start purposefully looking to date until I was 25, and it's been a really hard three years. I just don't seem to able to get started.

I do want a family one day, and in the near future I would love to have a partner, but what's the point in daydreaming when in the last three weeks, I've had no one answer my messages on Bumble? :(

You are so young....
You maybe need to figure out who you are and what you want?
Online dating is soooo hard but please don’t write it off after 3 weeks.
Maybe think of getting involved locally with ‘meet me’ an app for singles and others to do activities.

It’s been 3 years, not 3 weeks. I know that technically I am young, but I’ve been single for so, so long.

Looking at the social media of advertised meet ups, it’s a much older crowd. I have quite a good social life anyway, between friends and my own hobbies.

Be homes with yourself and us. Why do YOU think you're single? Avoidance? Self sabotage? Past trauma? Giving up too soon? Something else?

Be honest**

I'm on bumble so I know how it works, they must have swiped on you in the first place so I wonder why no one is replying, what are your first messages like? What do you say?

I usually ask or comment about something in their profile. If it was blank or short I’d just say hi. Maybe it’s the current mood covid/ lockdown wise, IDK.

I am avoidant with a good wallop of lack of experience thrown in. I am trying to work through the lack of confidence/ experience (hence therapist), but I just cannot meet anyone.

It sounds like she might be asking you to try using the Law of Attraction?
If you haven’t heard of it, in a nutshell you manifest what you want by focussing on it positively. “Thoughts become things”.
But if you dwell negatively or convince yourself that you’ll never find anyone, the Universe gives you more of the same (apparently).

Yes, she’s spoken about manifesting the things I want to help me work through nerves etc.

I walked past lots of couples this afternoon and I did try and imagine myself sitting on a really nice date in the sunshine. It’s just crap coming back to reality

@Itsseweasy

It sounds like she might be asking you to try using the Law of Attraction? If you haven’t heard of it, in a nutshell you manifest what you want by focussing on it positively. “Thoughts become things”. But if you dwell negatively or convince yourself that you’ll never find anyone, the Universe gives you more of the same (apparently).

This is true.

It's not because the universe is an all knowing all seeing things but because the universe presents us with opportunities all the time we just only see the opportunities that we are tuned into. If we're not tuned into them or only tuned into the negative, that is what we will see.

At least, that's how I've always interpreted it.