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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Don't know what his issue is

32 replies

MissM94 · 11/06/2021 22:15

Bit of a long one!
Me and boyfriend have been in such an amazing place and not even had a disagreement for ages & now something minor has happened and it's potentially ruined the whole weekend!
Last night, boyfriend was in bed with the lamp on and the big light was on aswell, I left the room to brush my teeth turned the big light off, 30 seconds later I run back in to show him my tan on my neck and put the big light on and I shit you not, his face was scrunched up, his hands were scrunched and through gritted teeth he shouted "nobhead, you do it every fucking time" my face was literally like 😳 I was so embarrassed, it was like my dad telling me off! So as soon as he did it he went to smile and tried to grab my shorts to pull me back as I walked off, told him to get off me and went back in the bathroom then he was muttering shite.. when I came back to bed he apologised and I told him I'm not interested. Went to work today and decided to address it so texted him on my break and he apologised said it winds him up when I put the light on but it was an overreaction, so I replied okay.. and that's all the conversation we had? I didn't hear a single thing back off him all day, we're normally back and forth on breaks speaking to eachother, I've come home from work at 8 and he's not even said hello which he normally does? Hes literally been sat in the front room watching football and I've had a bath and gone in the bedroom and it's like I'm walking on eggshells.. I'm so confused?! He's being really fucking strange like I've done something wrong to him?! You wouldn't think he's just been a dick head with me.. supposed to be going to the beach tomorrow, can't wait for a weekend of silence 🙃

OP posts:
VettiyaIruken · 12/06/2021 13:58

Well I spewed my rage all over your thread, sorry about that Blush it is just that little stuff like lights off (or on) etc etc done time and time again can build up and be so annoying but as I said, no need for him to be a mardy fucker .

MindTheBumps · 12/06/2021 15:27

He is a dick and you are a drama queen. Bad combo but at least while you are making each other miserable the rest of the world is safe.

shivermetimbers77 · 12/06/2021 15:36

Hmmm.. it sounds like both of you have played your part in this to be honest.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/06/2021 15:43

You both sound as bad as each other.

Turning on the main light dinner can check your tan is as daft as his outburst.

Texting him to continue the silliness and his blanking you are just different variations on the poor communication theme.

If you have these kinds of falling out on a semi regular basis then the two of you are not well matched.

It the doesn't really matter who is 'worst' you don't have to continue in a relationship that has no seeming mutual respect in the little things - which is where many relationships founder.

Triffid1 · 12/06/2021 15:50

You did something irritating (that you do often) - annoying
He over reacted massively - not okay
You sulked - not okay, but he hadn't apologised so perhaps understandable
You initiated a conversation - good
He apologised - good
He suggested that he lost it because you always do this - sort of bad but see point 1 above
You did not accept apology and instead chose to sulk - ridiculous
He has responded badly to you sulking and is now doing the same - also ridiculous.

You both sound as bad as each other.

Rebelwithverysharpclaws · 13/06/2021 12:56

He is an arse and a bad tempered one, training you up not to question him. Into the bin with him.

Thelnebriati · 13/06/2021 13:00

Google the Karpman Drama Triangle, and then google how to escape it.

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