Looking up an ex girlfriend

[lulubelle6]

Wanting some advice.

My DH phone is obviously connected in some way to my daughters IPad. I was shutting down many, many open screens last night when the internet previous history was open.
On the most recent search history was pages to open up an Instagram account and then the search for the previous girlfriend! I did look further back and there were pages open along the lines of 'can't stop thinking about the past'

We've been together 11 years so I cannot understand why now! We get on well but to be honest more just like friends as we very rarely have any kind of sex life.

What would you think about this?

We get on well but to be honest more just like friends as we very rarely have any kind of sex life.

Could he be seeing the past through rose tinted glasses because of this? Do you get any time just for you two, when kids go down?

Because he's missing the intimacy, he's thinking back to her with rose tinted glasses to when he had a good time with her.
I know it's awful but rather that fantasy than looking for someone new. (As long as he isn't contacting her)
You both need to find more time for each other and to find a sex life again.

I have kind of given up on the sex as I've tried time and time again over the years and he barely wants to know. That's why this is worrying me a bit more

I would not worry about some ex stalking as I occasionally look up exes, it's nothing more than boredom / nosiness. The internet searches are more worrying but could have been a jolt to not neglect that side of your relationship. However I have seen that you have tried and he's not interested.

I think you deserve better than a fella who makes no effort and should have a difficult conversation while preparing to leave if things don't improve.

@Heisbeingweird

I would not worry about some ex stalking as I occasionally look up exes, it's nothing more than boredom / nosiness. The internet searches are more worrying but could have been a jolt to not neglect that side of your relationship. However I have seen that you have tried and he's not interested.

I think you deserve better than a fella who makes no effort and should have a difficult conversation while preparing to leave if things don't improve.

Thank you it's just adding to how neglected I feel. Already feeling that he clearly isn't that into me so maybe is looking elsewhere x

@lulubelle6

I have kind of given up on the sex as I've tried time and time again over the years and he barely wants to know. That's why this is worrying me a bit more

That would knock me a bit. Could you start off slowly for now, maybe sit down to a nice meal just the two of you, glass of wine (if you drink) talk about everything and anything and try to connect again. See how you get on?

I look up my exes regularly. Dh and I are very happily married and have been for 12 years, so these are exes from 15-25 years ago. I am just really nosy and judgmental and they were largely losers (except for the couple exes I'm still friends with), and I am mildly amused that they still don't seem to be doing much with their lives. I also look up friends' exes, random neighbours from 20 years ago, random school run mums. I'm truly just nosy. Unless there is some massive backstory (they had an affair), then I wouldn't think anything more about it. But if you are not happy with yourself and your life, then that's something to work on.