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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When does a teacher become institutionalised?

3 replies

Underthebrush · 10/06/2021 21:40

I am an ex teacher married to a teacher and during my time working in schools, I completely lost my sense of self. I felt numb to my own needs, feelings and emotions and revolved my whole life around the school, the kids, my classroom, the other teachers. I was crap at listening and spoke the language of the school and very soon lost my passion. I was even numb when I became a mother and overwhelmed without a plan, a set routine to follow on the days I was at home. I had no confidence in myself as a mother or person.

On leaving the profession, it took 6 months of recovery before feeling myself again.

I'm still married to a teacher and I worry he's now too institutionalised. He's cold, insensitive and apathetic. He ticks the boxes of his job with little enthusiasm or feeling but meets every deadline. He never questions the horrific amount of work he's required to do and does it, robot like, without any passion at all and on very little sleep. He's an illness waiting to happen I think.

Can any teachers or spouses of teachers relate? How did you or someone you know become institutionalised by teaching? How does teaching affect your ability to regulate your own needs and emotions?

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/06/2021 21:53

Teaching is such a hideous brutal profession. I think it’s more depression than institutionalisation.

I’ve escaped and am so happy now.

mag2305 · 10/06/2021 21:58

Hi, I've been teaching for nearly 10 years and working in schools for longer. I'm currently pregnant so not in the classroom currently.
I can relate to some of what you say, although I think it can very much depend on the school you're in and how it's led, who you're working with, etc. My last school became quite sterile and corporate - ridiculous because it was primary but it became like that because it was joined with two secondaries in an academy.

What I would say is, is your husband unhappy with his job? Would moving schools help? Or a change in career?

I know teaching can become demoralising and have a negative effect on mental health. I follow a life beyond the classroom group on Facebook and I'm amazed at how many teachers are so unhappy. It's a sad situation.

Funnily enough though, it can be the opposite for me. I've got loads of anxiety issues, totally separate from work. But I find teaching can help me so much, to forget myself and immerse myself in the job. I kind of missing it at the moment.

Also, it kind of is what you make it. I was always a bit of a rebel teacher at my last school. I was a team player, did what I needed to but if I could go my own way with things, I did. I made the job more enjoyable for myself and most importantly the children.

Were you primary or secondary? Same with your husband?

OxanaVorontsova · 10/06/2021 22:03

DH and I have both been teachers for 25+ years, neither of us is like this. It isn’t inevitable or necessary but is sadly becoming quite common.

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