Working together?

[FlowersInHerHair24]

OH decided to apply for a job at the place I work knowing I didn't want that. He asked if he could before I said no because we need out own space too I cannot work and be in a relationship and share a home with him we all need our independence. He got offended that I said this. Found out yesterday he went ahead anyway and applied for the role. What do I do? I'm confused and feel annoyed as we would 24/7 be around each other I've told him and he's just saying I'm blowing it out of proportion

How long have you been together?

6 years coming up to 7

Go to HR and have a quiet word? If it's a big organisation are you likely to bump into him? I worked at the same place as my ExH for a while and only saw him at lunch.

It's a big company with multiple sites, he specifically chose mine it's the only place that advertised and we will definitely be working with each other

You may well find HR don't offer as a "conflict of interest" if you will be required to work together.

Six years! I would be fuming, mainly because of going behind my back. Really, really shitty of him.

I'd definitely speak to HR in that case! Tell them your husband has applied and you don't want to work with him. I'm sure they'll be diplomatic enough to reject him without mentioning you've objected.

Go straight to HR and talk to them.

Thanks all. I'll speak to HR

I’ve worked in my job 19 years and my husband joined 3 years ago. There’s 8 people in my office, and it’s been absolutely fine. I have to say, I barely notice him and my line manager sits right next to him.

It CAN work.

@DixonD

I’ve worked in my job 19 years and my husband joined 3 years ago. There’s 8 people in my office, and it’s been absolutely fine. I have to say, I barely notice him and my line manager sits right next to him.

It CAN work.

I don't doubt it can work but a big part of the issue in OP's case is that they had a discussion about something, agreed not to do it and he then did it behind her back - so lied to her. It's a really shitty thing for him to have done.

Wow, that's creepy. Absolutely speak with hr.

Has he displayed any controlling tendencies outwith this behaviour op? Is he generally smothering as hell?

• Or does he have form for taking things that are 'your thing' (eg: hobbies) and making them his and turning you into the competition? Or repeating your words back to you or others as if they are his words.

That's awful. I completely understand why you wouldn't want this and for him to ignore your wishes is totally disrespectful. Unless your workplace is the only one for miles around where he can get work, it's fine to expect him not to do this.

BTW both my dds have done work experience at my workplace and I only saw them during the working day when we travelled there and back together, but one became quite gossipy with the staff in a way that was uncomfortable for me.

@Umberellatheweatha I don't really have many hobbies but I enjoy a walk/jog down canals listeningto music. He also wanted to do it which is fine but the 'I only want to do it with you' is kind of annoying. And if I arrange a drink with friends he will try get me to agree to drink with him and brush them off. I don't want it to seem like I don't want to spend time with him because I do. We go for meals, shopping, TV and gaming. My days off and evenings and nights are with him

[quote FlowersInHerHair24]@Umberellatheweatha I don't really have many hobbies but I enjoy a walk/jog down canals listeningto music. He also wanted to do it which is fine but the 'I only want to do it with you' is kind of annoying. And if I arrange a drink with friends he will try get me to agree to drink with him and brush them off. I don't want it to seem like I don't want to spend time with him because I do. We go for meals, shopping, TV and gaming. My days off and evenings and nights are with him[/quote]
Uh oh...

The whole 'drink with me instead of your friends' thing...he is starting to try to isolate you. (Does he slag off your friends btw?)

Your work would have been a safe space...but now he wants in there too.

Step back and take a look op, because it's quite incidious how these things are all starting to stack up.

I'd be worried.