How To Date Again After Lockdown

[SamW98]

Morning all. I came out of quite a toxic on and off 3 year relationship in the first lockdown and so been single just over a year.
Prior to that relationship I was married for 20 years and so its been forever since I dated

Friends recommended trying OLD but I just don't seem to get anywhere. I joined Tinder, Bumble and Badoo but so far not even a sniff of any dates. It seems that others get inundated and go on dates every week but I can't even get a reply to me saying hello - maybe I'm getting it wrong somehow but just wanted advice from anyone who's started dating again as to the best way to move forward

Out of those three im only on bumble, what are you saying in your first message? I've been on a few dates recently and every single one has said its annoying/tedious when a woman just says 'hi how's you?' etc as their opening message.

Its a numbers game really. I wait till I swipe a dozen or so then send out a message to them all. Not everyone gets back to you but you can have a few you talk to at once that will eventually filter thru to dates.

I get very few matches and yes I am guilty of just saying 'hi (name) how's it going with you? I haven't got a clue what else to say if I'm honest

I think I've only had about 6 matches all together and not one reply

I've always had a lot of male attention in real life but obviously that's not been possible over the last year or so as we can't mix but I'm obviously not coming across well online

It's hard to say without seeing your profile
Could be a number of different things, what puts me off is

Pictures that look old/ too filtered
No profile info
As pp said 'how's you' as an opening line is off putting.

Ask them about something they've written on their profile to start convo or ask a question. Throw in a bit of humour when appropriate.

Sometimes it's not to do with you but they hadn't read your profile properly when swiping, could be you are looking for something different to them, unrealistic distance to date.

People that go on too many dates are not likely being that fussy about who they date, I've only been on one date in just over a month and still looking, I find most convos die off after a day, it can be hard work but keep going and you will eventually find someone to go on a date with.

The guy I did on on a date with I was very attracted to, we hit it off straight away and went on a date the next day, sometimes they just come in when least expected, however I didn't feel the chemistry with him but that's a whole different thing.

@SamW98
OLD is a complete minefield. IMHO, it's harder for a single guy, but I obviously can't speak for women.

I'm on all the sites you mention, plus a few others. I might get one match a month, if I'm lucky (so you are doing well with 6!) and mostly my messages (which I try to tailor to their profile - for instance - oh I see you like lawnmower racing - what's that like?) get ignored.

There is a Dating thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4257677-Dating-Thread-205-dusting-off-the-gladrags

The people on there are generally friendly, and helpful.

Get a friend to look at your profile. Maybe take some better pictures (not saying yours's aren't good, but I can't take a decent selfie to save my life!)